I Don't Even Know What I'm Like Anymore (the last day of Summer)

 I don't even know if I am at an all time high or low

  or if I am happy or sad

  I don't even know what personality is

 or what I like to do or what I think about myself anymore

 I can't figure out why but people around me hate what I'm doing when I love it.

 I don't know if I am building myself up from nothing or breaking myself down from everything

 I find myself to be the most boring human yet I constantly find myself endlessly fascinating

 I make these promises that I don't mean and I'm slowly realizing what terrible a person I can be.

 I want to be alone so I can get lost in my own thoughts for that is where I am most happy

 I am indecisive and don't even know if I love or hate myself

 I want to smile for this has been the best Summer yet to everyone else, is the worst summer for all of the things I've done.

 I don't want to leave my bed yet I just want to go outside and climb a tree

 What makes me happy is the thing that makes everyone else hurt

 So just leave me alone and allow me to get lost in my head