Sunday Diary: The Best Day Ever

Yesterday, I saw a chat with Lizzie Widicombe and Tavi Gevinson and to put it out plainly, it was the best day of my life. Tavi was not only hilarious but one of the best people I have ever met. There are even pictures of me crying after meeting her! I also got the pleasure of meeting Amy Rose and the diarist, Britany. Who we had a long and hilarious talk about scene kids. Rookie readers are also the best people ever. Viv and I met two awesome girl named Lulu and Mira who I plan on staying in touch with. Just I can't even explain how amazing this day was.

-Ann

Sunday Diary: Picture Day And Other Things That Are Absolutely Pointless

I don't understand why we still have picture day here at school. In this day and age, don't we already take enough selfies that picture day is obsolete? Why must schools have a day in which everyone gets all dressed up to have some shitty photograph where they're either A) blinking or B) Over smiling? On about the second day of school, our principal gave us a long lecture on how much eighth grade picture day means. One of his main points was that we are the main focus of the yearbook. Our pictures are the largest therefor we should prep for this legendary picture. If I could say the least, his point was complete bullshit. This post is partially bullshit too. I mean I am going on a rant about picture day...
Anyways, I decided why the hell not take the fact that Friday, Sepetember 27 was picture day. I mean I dress rather nice every single day but I went with my Jagk tee just so I could look back and either A) cringe about how terrible my music taste was or B) high five myself because my music taste was amazing back in eighth grade. I believe the second one will end up happening. As the tired photographer snapped my picture for the pointless yearbook, I tried to conjure up the most angst filled face possible. Basically, I wanted to look exactly like this:

-Ann

P.S Somehow Sinead of the online magazine, Creepy Gurl, thought that my poetry was actually good so if you want to see my piece, here is the link: My Last Memory

Sunday Diary: Hello Thurman! Its Your First Day Of School

I walk into math class on a hot Tuesday. It is the first day of school and I'm not surprised that I am was assigned to a supplementary math class after this regular one. Though this was expected of me, I can't help but hate the fact that I am forced to take two math classes in a row. I instantly know this won't work out. The reason why I am so terrible at math is not that I don't grasp the concept well. I am unable to pay attention out of true boredom for the subject. So tell me, if I can barely sit through an hour of this subject then how will spending two hours do any good for me? I stand in the bathroom with a girl that I have never actually talked to but we both seem to find each other as good company therefor we slipped into the girl's room across the hall during the transition of periods. I fix my hair. Not that it needs fixing or anything. Just that I have no idea what else to do with myself. As the two of us walk back into class for PA or as all the teachers call "project ahead" I realize how angry and annoyed I am. I don't want to be here. Extra math won't help me and no one seems to understand that. Sticking me here with these eleven kids, make me feel shittier and stupider by the second and as childish as it sounds, I almost wanted to cry. My eleven year old sister is in accelerated math and I am not only taking the lowest level but a supplementary class. As much as I would like to tell you that I get amazing grades in English to make up for this subject, I don't. I can't handle school. I have been taking classes for eight years of my life and I haven't gotten any better. We file into our seats and I notice that everyone has the same facial expression. Dread. Anger. Sadness. None of us want to be here. I would rather take Spanish. Our teacher stands by the board acting as if the eleven of us having failed our NJASK test is a good thing. As if this class is a good thing. We all know that its not. We all know that out of the two hundred kids in our grade, we are the eleven who failed. I hate that more than anything. So yeah. Not even a week of school has passed and I already feel like shit.
-Ann
*Excuse the Blood On The Dance Floor stuff written on my arm and the scene kid stuff in some of these pictures. They were a joke*

Play List:

Skool Sux from annlouise11 on 8tracks Radio.

I Don't Even Know What I'm Like Anymore (the last day of Summer)

 I don't even know if I am at an all time high or low

  or if I am happy or sad

  I don't even know what personality is

 or what I like to do or what I think about myself anymore

 I can't figure out why but people around me hate what I'm doing when I love it.

 I don't know if I am building myself up from nothing or breaking myself down from everything

 I find myself to be the most boring human yet I constantly find myself endlessly fascinating

 I make these promises that I don't mean and I'm slowly realizing what terrible a person I can be.

 I want to be alone so I can get lost in my own thoughts for that is where I am most happy

 I am indecisive and don't even know if I love or hate myself

 I want to smile for this has been the best Summer yet to everyone else, is the worst summer for all of the things I've done.

 I don't want to leave my bed yet I just want to go outside and climb a tree

 What makes me happy is the thing that makes everyone else hurt

 So just leave me alone and allow me to get lost in my head