Tuesday, October 21, 2014


   Finally, YouTube vlogger and singer, Bryarly Bishop, released her first ever album, Bryarly, on Friday and wow I'm so happy with it. It opens up with "Daedelus" which started off pretty cute of her talking and then going into the upbeat song. It has a steady beat in the verses that's catchy and I overall liked it. The pre choruses were more fast paced than everything else and I thought that was fun too. "Find Your Love" is next up and I think this was more like her previous work- it has a soft guitar pluck in the beginning and there is a pretty call and answer in the chorus line. I wasn't that into this one since I just thought the lyrics weren't nearly as good as they could be- the bridge also kind of annoyed me (I have no idea why). Though the second track wasn't what I was hoping for (you can never have an album full of amazing songs), "Working Steady" definitely redeemed it. I believe this is one of my favorites since it has such a nice piano and poppy beat in the background. Her vocals are also just awesome- she riffs her voice in the pre-chorus also I thought the "I never know what to say, I never know what to do." part was real fun to unconsciously sing along to. Bryarly also added some jazz within the bridge which was unexpected and the last chorus was angelic- she is insane. Onto my favorite song off the entire album, "Trigger Warning", I didn't really understand it's beauty at first but once you hear it again, it definitely clicks. There is this soothing jazzy instrumental going on that makes everything more powerful as she sings about being taken advantage of "did you imagine that a kiss contains a promise I caress and I owe you? Did you imagine that to stop was a suggestion…" Also, the ending of the song is just so perfect- her voice gets so thick as she belts it out and put me in awe. "In The Bright Daylight" was next and I just need to comment on how she didn't do the cliche rhymes she could have done and instead put more complex lyrics and talks about missing someone though she's trying to get over it. The song is calm and only has a guitar and a steady drum beat and God damn her voice has so much emotion. You can actually make out pain in there and it made a simple song so much more. The sixth track was "Making A Break" which is another one I really enjoyed. It starts out calm but builds up at the pre chorus and the refrain is awesome as she almost growls out some of the lines- I don't understand how she does these things while still sounding like a goddess. "Sleepless" comes on next and though I wasn't all that big on the sound itself I do give it to Bryarly for showing off how high her voice can go- I didn't like it very much for I thought it sounded more like a lullaby than anything and got sort of boring since it is literally the same plucking pattern the entire way through. "Oxygen" starts off with a synth like beat as she gets into it and I like how Bryarly just kind of appeared into the song out of nowhere- her voice gets low and high and higher and wow even higher and has operatic pieces that you wouldn't think work but somehow, she pulls it off. It's really weird how well it fit in actually. Another one I really really liked was "What We Want" since it sounded slightly like "Get Your Head In The Game" from High School Musical for some reason but then her voice gets really high and then what where did Watsky come from. OK I do have to take some time to admit to my Watsky phase which is really awful and embarrassing and though I think he is slight sad trash, he did fit in with the song and I'm not going to hold it against her since it was a really catchy and fun song. The album finishes off with the soft "Dear John". The song is pretty and just soft and lovely- it wasn't my favorite but I thought it was a good ending song.
   All in all, I am SO proud of Bryarly Bishop for this album! The one thing I am disappointed of is that she didn't add "Eros" since it was one of my overall favorite songs for months and I wanted to hear it nicely produced (though it will be on the EP).
Update: So the queen herself, Bryarly Bishop, tweeted me! I was reminded that I'm a total dingus and didn't add links to her music 
*You can also get it on iTunes under "Bryarly" I just was too lazy to add that one in

Monday, October 20, 2014

Impressed By Another Guitar Hero

♥Sweater: H&M
♥Skirt: thrift
♥Bird cage necklace: Pier One

I know I look mildly terrifying but my sweater paws were so cute.

♥Cardigan: hand-me-down (it has rips in the back which shows how awful I am)
♥Cat tank: Vivi
♥Leggings: thrift

$uper @ngst 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Books and Fairies and Things Happening

    It's been a weird week. So much has gone on and wow I didn't realize until I tried to write it all down and it became a scramble. I've been editing the novel I told you about a couple weeks ago and I find that funny because I've been comparing it to American Horror Story: Freak Show (without Evan Peters, freaks, a killer clown, and basically everything exempt for it being a circus in the 50s). No matter what I do, it can't be perfect and that is why I know I can't go into any publishing steps because that isn't what I want. But now that I say that, I don't even know what I want out of this book. It's just kind of something that is there and pretty and I like it. I guess I'm happy with it in a way. There are parts I feel like I'm somewhat of an OK fiction writer and I am proud (I could even say) of the introduction.
"My dad and I are moving again. A whole new town with new people who I probably won't be talking to and more opportunities for my dad to fuck everything up for us until we ditch this place and move again. I realize how harsh I sound when I say this but it's not as though my father has made things easy since the passing of my mother. Ah that faithful day that will continue to bring chills up my spine and cause me to dry heave no matter where I am. I remember it all too clearly.
Irene Nadler was not a mother to me- more of a ghost than anything. She would come home wrecked every night in the early hours of the morning and you could feel the drugs leaking off her. She'd act as though she was in a whole different world and stumble around our quaint house screeching profanities at the top of her lungs- triggering multiple complaints from our neighbors about the crazy lady next door. Sometimes she wouldn't even go out, she'd sit on the living room couch with a syringe in her hand and just go at it. Until one day, things were different. I don't know what exactly happened or why. Maybe she'd had a bad day or didn't notice how much she was taking because before I knew it, she was on the ground clutching her throat. I was only eight. I didn't know what was going on. I couldn't stop it. Instead of trying to help, I just sat there on one of the stools in the living room and watched in horror. I should've screamed or run to find someone but I was paralyzed and before I knew it, she was no longer heaving and lay motionless on the carpet. I don't remember much about what Irene looked like except for the blue nails and lips that will never leave my mind. When my dad is intoxicated (which is most of the time now), he'll look at me and weep about how much I resemble her though."  
   I could go into so many more things that have been going on but they make me sad to think about and though I did write about them, I think these thoughts and moments are rather personal and should be kept private. I did have a really banging fairy princess birthday party though and took some awesome shots with Vivi. 

oh and I got my first ever "hate comment" and I find it to be the funniest thing ever and I just need to share it with you:

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

"She" Cover/ LGBTQA History Month

   Happy LGBT history month! In honor of October celebrating those of all sexual orientations and gender identities, I covered one of my favorite songs in the entire world, "She", by the lovely Dodie Clark. I also shared some of my experiences coming out. Again, I would like to say a big thanks to all those who were supportive and sent kind words when I came out last June- you are all such lovely people.
♥Original version
♥My coming out post

Monday, October 13, 2014

Hello Daddy, Hello Mom, I'm Your Cherry Bomb

♥Top: Plato's Closet
♥Skirt: H&M
♥Pearls: Forever21
This photo is kind of horrible and I slightly like it like that.

♥Sweater: gift (I believe from American Eagle)
♥Leggings: thrift
♥Bird cage necklace: Pier One
♥Triforce Of Courage necklace: Etsy
(I realize how basic this outfit is- I just enjoy cozy sweaters at times and get too lazy to actually put creativity into it)

I'm kind of an awful picture taker but in a good way


♥Beatles tee: thrift
♥Jacket: my granddad 
♥Skirt: thrift
♥necklace: Forever21

♥Tank: Forever21 basics
♥Skirt: H&M
♥Cardigan: consignment
♥Bird cage necklace: consignment
♥Peter Pan collar necklace: consignment

♥Sweater: Nordstrom BP
♥Leggings: thrift

*My birthday!!!
♥Dress: Buffalo Exchange

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Bad Karaoke and Death Row

   Ah! We've moved to Saturdays! Though I would love to fill up that awkward piece of Thursday, it is just too stressful to have to write up two long summaries on Wednesday late at night so I can get it done for the next afternoon. Also, Saturdays is awesome because I can just sum up every single episode of the week as it ends. Anyways, this week was completely awesome for two of my favorite shows came back with pretty great season premieres!

   Though Supernatural tends to have pretty dramatic endings to their seasons, I feel as though the season nine finale was one of the most insane since Dean became a demon. A DEMON! The premiere starts off like any other with a classic "The Road So Far" since in which there's just a lot of blood and Dean saying "bitch" and Sam punching people and screaming. The usual. Once that ends, we are taken to a field in which Sam holds a knife over what appears to be a demon's face as he questions her where Dean and Crowley are. The camera pans over his desk which is littered by demon research books on how to save someone- obviously Sam has been obsessing over Dean (which makes me so so so happy). Just to seal the deal, Sam looks sadly at the note Dean left him saying, 
"Sammy, let me go" which is just so heartbreaking since Dean never let go of Sam. The episode was split up into about three sections with all the main characters being scattered so the first view we get of Castiel is when he receives a call from Sam saying a John Doe was murdered in a supermarket and he hadn't been seen for three years (since he killed his wife and kids and ditched home) so Sam believes there's something up and it could have to do with Dean. Speaking of the eldest Winchester brother, we get a perfect introduction of him singing awful karaoke of "I'm Too Sexy" at a bar- believe me it is pretty awesome.
We then pan over to Crowley sitting on a seat at the same bar and my heart just immediately dropped since Sam and Dean had been after Crowley for years and now Dean thinks of him as a friend. The scene is then cut to a bedroom where Dean is laying in bed with a blonde woman. As she gets up to go back to work, he tells her not to get too attached for he is going to be leaving soon- the usual Dean. She gives him a glare before walking out. We are then sent back to the bar where Dean spots a man abusing the girl he had just slept with and takes him out to the parking lot where he punches him until the man is nearly dead- this is one of the first glimpses we get of Dean as a demon where he just can't control his anger. I like how they didn't make that too obvious though.
   Back at Castiel's he is awoken yet again by Hannah who claims there are angels rebelling- it is kind of a bland scene- they basically just talk about Metatron and then Cas agrees to bring down the two angels.
  We are then sent to Sam at a police station in an unknown location (maybe they said it and I didn't hear…) where him and an officer are watching surveillance from the supermarket where the man is killed. Immediately, Sam recognizes Dean on the tapes and we watch as he beats and stabs the man to death in the middle of an aisle. Sam then asks to watch the tapes alone and sees that at the end, you get a glimpse of Dean's eyes going black. This scene was almost painful to watch for you can see the disappointment in Sam's eyes as he sees what a monster his brother has become.
An abrupt transition and all of a sudden we see Dean beating up what appears to be a hunter in an alley- Dean fights a lot of people within this episode but this one is super important just watch out! After that, we see a nice looking family at a breakfast table as the father gets a letter. His wife looks worried and asks her husband if the letter is from "him" which is super vague and weird but I wasn't really that compelled to find out because I was all too busy paying attention to what an awesome aesthetic Supernatural has got this season. I mean wow! The color and texture of all the sets are just A+. After that strange statement, the man goes into a safe and pulls out a gun and a photo of Dean from the supermarket. Wow. What is going on.
  After this, we are put into my favorite scene in the whole episode. Sam is questioning the clerk who was on duty while the John Doe was murdered who refers to him as "porn guy". Sam asks him,
"What did porn guy say?" in which he answers,
"Where's the porn?" I don't know why I liked this piece so much. Maybe because it was so Dean.

   As Sam is leaving, the clerk stops him and hands over the phone of the man who was killed since he found it in the toilet paper section. Sam then calls Crowley and claims that though Crowley believes Dean is fine, Sam will save him no matter what. Crowley then comes back with the reason why Sam is so angry is that he can't stand that Dean is his.
   The scene cuts to Hannah and Cas driving out and finding one of the angels who rebelled at the creek- this isn't important until later. After this, we hear a conversation between Crowley and Dean at the bar about the phone call- Sam traced down their location and Dean claims Crowley "sold him out" and Crowley does his normal thing of rolling his eyes and saying he's overreacting. Speaking of Sam, his car breaks down on the way to find Dean and conveniently, some guy is there to help out. As Sam is just about to go on his way, this mysterious man has a kill switch and a remote and before Sam can do anything, he is knocked out on the ground.
   Back onto Dean, he wakes up next to the same girl from the beginning- he'd gotten extremely drunk the night before and she is taking care of him as he gets back up. She then goes onto one of my favorite monologues in "Black" where she tells him at first she thought he was protecting her honor when he knocked out the abusive man but then she realized it wasn't for her but an internal problem and she is tired of guys doing that. Though girls are always standing up to Dean, I think this was one of the best ones since with Dean being a demon, he doesn't have much feeling.
   Back onto the Cas and Hannah situation, they are suddenly in a fight with the rebellious angel which gets pretty violent until we are cut into the setting where Sam is tied up and the mysterious roadside man is explaining that Dean Winchester and him don't exactly agree. Sam asks if he's a hunter and he gives the vague answer that he is somewhat since he hunts Dean- I have a theory he's a demon. Sam comes back saying Dean is a monster (God that is so heartbreaking) and the road guy (I'm just going to refer to him as "RG" from now on) says one of the best lines,
"Dean is no longer a monster, now he's pray."
   Ugh these character pieces are slightly annoying but after the fight commences, Hannah and Cas are seen driving back and Cas confirms he won't be reporting the angel and though there were some great lines in "Black" nothing was as good as,
"There’s seemingly nothing but chaos. Not all bad comes from it. Art, hope, love, dreams." Hannah then claims he sounds rather human and Cas just nods it off- THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. Over the past couple seasons, Castiel has been getting accustomed to the human culture and now is really a breakthrough in which he understands it. Though I'll miss Cas' clueless moments, I really love this character progression. 
   The last scene is no doubt, the most painful to watch. Dean gets a call from RG saying that he has Sam and unless Dean comes to him, Sam will be killed. Dean then answers that it's Sam's fault he's in this situation and he is a man of his word and won't come. This killed me. Dean has been protecting Sam since forever- he's always been his top priority and now that he's in a life or death situation, he won't be coming. 
   All in all, this was a painful and perfect season premiere. I wasn't sure about demon Dean but I already hate him and just want everything to be nice again and have the brothers back.

Criminal Minds
    I am amazed at how back into routine Criminal Minds has gotten and I am beyond appreciative for that since Supernatural is all over the place at the moment and I just need at least one stable show. This week's episode, "Burn", starts off with a previously on Criminal Minds showing scenes from the season nine finale, "Demons", in which Garcia shoots and kills a "doctor" to save Reid's life (more on that episode here). We are then sent into really ambiguous scene of Morgan watching a no faced person on death row about to be killed- after a few more beats of creepy music, it is reveals this unknown prisoner to be Garcia.

Penny then wakes up from another one of her ongoing nightmares (I said they would come back!) and ends up going to the office to ask Hotch if she can take some time off. He agrees she has quite a large amount of vacation days and lets her go. Penelope and Derek end up meeting in the bullpen and she tells him she's headed to Texas visit Greg Baylor (the unsub in "Angels" and "Demons") since he is on death row and though she wrote letters to the Governor, they won't take him off and therefor he's set to be euthanized within a couple days. She never meant for this to happen and feels as though she's the reason he's in this situation so she wants to say she's sorry before he dies. Morgan doesn't agree however and gets pretty angry, yelling at her that she needs to stop obsessing but his words are on deaf ears as Penny leaves.
  With Garcia gone, Kevin Lynch (Penny's ex) plays her for the case and makes his first appearance in quite awhile- I've never liked Kevin all that much but I still do think him and Garcia were the cutest couple ever and I wish they'd gotten married. On yet another irrelevant note, can we talk about how awesome Reid's hair is this season? Other than the boy band and super long curly style, this is one of my favorites.
   OK I'm done, I promise. as they walk into the presenting room, Rossi is caught saying the Criminal Minds line of the day:

Though I seriously can't stand Dave in any way, I can't deny this being a prime piece (we were all thinking it). Kevin presents the case with the first two victims found saying they have completely different MOs (the only connection between them is that their cars were parked two miles apart from each other) and therefor this is a weirder and harder to profile case- Spencer makes the inference that this is a personal killing and thinks it's a team as apposed to one killer. 
   Also, I know I talked about this in the last post but the opening photo is really cute.

  We are then sent to a scene of a man inside a grimy bathtub as a guy wearing goggles and a lab coat strangles him and just when he starts to fight, the victim is hit in the head with a hammer and drowns. Throughout this entire scene, there's a strange voice chanting some sort of incoherent words.
  On the plane, the team discusses victimology like usual; nothing matches within the victims which makes them think these are victims of opportunity and that the killer is young and inexperienced because of this. Reid though makes the point that you need strength to commit this crime and therefor the unsub may be older. Just as they land, they get a call from Kevin saying the latest victim was found and when they see the autopsy report, all three victim's bodies are damaged orally with slashes on the roofs of their mouths. Each person has contusions on their heads and have different CODS which is ambiguous when Reid takes a closer look at their mouths, he finds that the damage isn't just a slash but a roman numeral. Inside the victim's mouths, there's a different number going from three to five- this means there were two victims beforehand. 
   They cut to Penny who is sitting on a bench waiting for a bus to bring her into the prison. As she waits, a lady asks her if she's here for her "boo" and says that they're "frying someone today" when Penny tries to see Greg, she's stopped for she doesn't have visiting rights and even though she's part of the FBI, Greg doesn't want to see her. She realizes the only way to communicate is to write up a note to give to the guard. 
   When JJ interviews the sister of one of the victims, Joe, she is told that Joe was an extremely nice guy and cared about everyone- he even participated in a mentoring program where him and fourteen year old Jose became very close. She claims he was tough but fair with Jose and loved him very much. This is when pieces begin to come together- the two other victims had sons within that age group and were hard on their kids at one point. As they check out the scene of abduction, they also find out that the unsub has been doing a "bump and abduct" in which he bumps the car in front of him so the people think they're in an accident. When they get out of their cars to check what's going on, they're kidnapped. 
   After this lead to one of my favorite scenes in this episode. When Reid asks Morgan where Penny is, he tells him all about how she's guilty and Spencer begins to talk about the first time he ever killed a man in the LDSK episode (it's the one where he gets his gun) and how he obsessed over the man he murdered and researched everything about him. He then says that the way he moved on was by putting photographs of all his victims on his wall for they had lives too. 
   Back onto the killer, we see a man inside a coffin like wooden box as the unsub pours carasine onto him and ignites him. 
  We are then cut from that as we watch Garcia calling Derek from her grimy motel room- she's been trying to reach him for the past couple hours but he won't pick up so she basically goes on a tangent saying, 
"He's [Greg] gonna be sorry cause he's not hanging out with me." which I thought was cute. Minutes later, she gets a call from Baylor telling her to meet him at 2:00.
   After this, we are back onto the crime scene where the team is examining the latest kill when Reid makes a revelation that the unsub is creating the circles of hell originally from Dante's book. They then guess that he is killing them because of the father figure they are. Also, in the book around the circles of hell, it is told that the person will go to paradise after they complete all of these and therefor the unsub is projecting these struggles onto others. We are then shown a father in front of a dentist's office as he hits his son over the head for getting a cavity- as this goes on an unknown man watches from his car. 
   To narrow down who the unsub could be, Hotch has Kevin search up recent posts regarding the circles of hell and they find a college student named Nathan Chow- he doesn't exactly fit the profile but the team predicts he's the virgil. They then cut to a scene of Nathan walking through his dorm getting teased by everyone there. Once he enters his room, he pulls out a box of explosives under his bed and leaves the room. The team then comes down the hallway and break into his dorm to find it empty- they do find the explosives and eventually chase him down and gets tackled by Morgan. When they take him to the station to question Nathan, he lies and says he's the one who killed all the people and describes them as a woman when all the victims are men. When JJ says they know he didn't do it, he begins to chant, "abandon all hope, ye who enter here." and they can't get him to stop. The team comes to the conclusion Nathan Chow is protecting someone so Kevin finds that Nathan's high school AP teacher is suspicious. Chow claimed in the yearbook he couldn't have gotten through the year and Mr. Leu even gave him a copy of Dante's circles of hell. 
   Onto Garcia and Greg, Penny keeps trying to convince him she didn't want this to happen but he counters saying that he's a killer a deserves this and she isn't here because she feels bad for him, Penelope showed up to clear her own guilt. Penny then questions why out of family and friends he wanted to see here when he only has ten hours left to live when she realizes she was the only one who came. After a moment of silence, he claims he didn't want to die alone. Garcia the realizes what he means and says she can't watch him get the injection- Greg gets angry and has a guard take him out. 
   We are then sent into a classroom where Justin Leu is with a student saying he can't get a B or else his dad will kill him. He then goes into a flashback of him and his brother being punished horribly for getting Bs and gives the kid an A- the team had done research on Leu and found out that after his mother died, his father spiraled downwards and lashed to on his sons. Later, his older brother committed suicide, making him the virgil. When Hotch has Kevin search up where the dad is, it turns out he passed away last week and that was what triggered the killings. After this piece, we see Mr. Leu burying the student from before's dad and as he begins to beg Leu sees his father yelling at him instead so he knocks the man out with a shovel. Before he can do any more harm to him though, the team shows up and arrests him, ending the case.
   We are shot back to Penny in Texas where she gets Derek's voicemail yet again. She breaks down crying and says that she just wishes she could uplift Greg in the situation when in reality, she can't since it is already so bad. 

   We then see Greg walk into the room where he will die and seriously it was once of the most painful things to watch for you could see the fear in his eyes. When an officer asks him if he has any last words, he looks up and sees Penny sitting there to be with him and says,
"Thank you." I have cried three times during Criminal Minds. When Haley, Hotch's ex wife was murdered, "Revelations", and when Prentis died (but not really) but this was insanely emotional for me for unlike all the murders, this was slow and you could see Greg slowly die as Penny sobbed. I have never really been a big fan of Penelope Garcia- I've always found her kind of annoying and though she still somewhat is, I have a newfound love for her. She's compassionate and just an adorable person. The episode then ends with her coming home to find Morgan waiting for her where has cries into his shoulder. It was an overall emotional and turning episode.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

My Favorite Products For Damaged Hair

   As most of you may know, I am guilty dying my hair since about fifth grade along withe excessively straightening and using other heat products towards it. Though I'm not willing to give up my dye and straight hair, I have been taking pretty good hair of my tresses since they have become rather disgusting (trust me, you don't want to touch my hair) and I am aware they will never be perfectly healthy, I'm trying to grow it out and not go bald so that means I've collected quite a treasure trove of different hair care products that help me keep the dye and straightening while still preserving health in my locks.

♥Not Your Mother's "Beat The Heat Shield Spray" 
(Target, Ulta, basically anywhere that sells hair products)
   One of my favorite hair product brands in the whole world is Not Your Mother's for their products aren't only for girls with straight or mildly curly hair but are extremely versatile- my hair is three textures so I mean it when I say a product is awesome. I just started using this whenever I straighten my hair along with three other products (shown later in the post) and it has worked better than most of the other sprays I have tried out. Unlike any other heat protectant, this shield spray gives a better hold on the straightening and keeps it in for much longer than usual. It also helps that it smells super good.

♥It's A Ten "Miracle Leave In"
(Target, salons, etc)
   Other than the shield spray, this is one of my all time favorite straightening (and heat in general) products. It's A Ten has an awesome texture that is more creamy than others and therefor provides a better and smoother straightening process. It also has keratin infused into it which is super good for your hair and is a much better alternative than spending hundreds of dollars on a keratin treatment. 

♥Garnier "Sleek and Shine Flat Iron Perfecter"
(Target, etc)
    Though I wasn't a huge fan of this spray at first, it does seem to do a pretty Ok job. When I use it, I'll first put my heat shield on first and then spray It's A Ten- this is probably because my hair is a stubborn bitch but I wouldn't recommend you using just this to straighten your hair. Though it isn't all that strong, this product does have a nice after shine that lasts about two days that is super nice and pretty. 

♥Not Your Mothers "Clean Freak Refreshing Dry Shampoo"
(Target, etc)
   Though I shower every day, I can't afford to wash my hair too so I usually end up only really cleaning my hair twice a week. Though I am super lucky my hair barely produces any oil, I still want it to be somewhat not so gross so this dry shampoo is a life saver. I've tried other products like this (such as Bastite which is a load of shit) and every other dry shampoo is all too flaky and sprays too much out whereas this doesn't leave any white spots nor does it flake and fall out whenever I touch my hair. 

♥Bed Head "Control Freak" conditioner
   Bed Head is one of my all time favorite brands for hair products and this shampoo is a lifesaver. It basically eliminates frizz when I wash it out and makes the straightening process quicker, and easier. One downside to it is that this conditioner has the worst smell ever but once you get past that, it's really lovely.