Wednesday, February 25, 2015

2 Years Down

   Exactly a year ago today, the first post for How Fitting went up. I looked like this

and every post went a little something like this. To sum it all up, I was a thirteen year old with a grand total of one friend and an uncanny amount of free time. I didn't really know where I was going with this blog (not that I exactly know at the moment) but I knew that I liked fashion and Tavi Gevinson and wanted people to like me because I had an insane amount of stress and problems with kids at school (most of them being my fault because contrary to popular belief, I was pretty horrible at that point in time). After a couple of incredibly embarrassing posts, I actually attracted people who wanted to read this stupid thing I created due to boredom. My interests began to develop from music to what I actually liked in fashion, and I realized what I wanted out of this thing I spent my time on. At first, I took a more zine approach and that worked and I liked it for quite awhile (more than a year) but a few months ago, after having been dissatisfied with the quality, I went for a more laid back style of blogging. I was becoming stressed and unhappy with what I was creating and blogging became more of a burden. The whole reason why How Fitting even exists is because I was bored and wanted to have fun and I decided the moment this is no longer fun, I either change what I'm doing or end this because I'm literally a fifteen year old girl sitting in my bedroom on my laptop writing pieces like this  while shitty pop punk plays. Though my main goal is to become a journalist in fashion, I can't take myself too seriously. Anyways, instead of focusing on horrible 7th grade Ann, I'd like to just have a quick montage of what How Fitting has become over the past year and all the super awesome things that have happened.

♥I have an internship! Though you guys probably already know this from here and here, I have rarely even talked about my love for BP Fashion Board. Not only are the discounts the greatest, I love the board. Every month, we learn something new about how to run such a giant business like Nordstrom. There are so many different cogs and wheels that go into it, and I'm fascinated with these people's stories. Also, as part of the program, I have to design a line and I think what I made is pretty cute (it's called "As If!" and is a modern day take on Clueless
♥Over the past year, I've worked with multiple really cool companies (here, here, here) and have already planned a collaboration with Moooh- which completely off the record has adorable clothing. 
♥I was nominated for a Liebster award by my friend Amelia Mad earlier in the year which was super exciting and it was so sweet of her. 

These things were about the highlights along with developing in quality, having Dean Dobbs say that my post on his song, "Consent" was a great review (and retweet it)
and also gaining a bunch of new lovely friends who like to read this thing I do. I'm really excited to start off this second year of How Fitting with more stupid things and pictures of me, Samantha, and John because that's really all this blog is. 
Love you from the bottom of my heart,

Sunday, February 15, 2015

we fell in love and now we're both alone

   This weekend, my friends, Sam, Madison, and I headed up to Philly to see Sleeping With Sirens and Pierce The Veil on their World Tour (along with Pvris and Mallory Knox opening) and it couldn't have been a better way to open up the concerts along the line for 2015. Before getting into the actual concert experience, I think some background on these two bands (mainly PTV) is important. I discovered Pierce The Veil in seventh grade when I was about thirteen after having heard of them through All Time Low (my still favorite band)'s co-headlining tour (fun fact: they actually came to New Jersey on my birthday but I never got to see them) and going through a "I only listen to music with 'meaning'" phase, this overly emotional band was great for me. Two years later, I continue to know the words to every one of their songs and keep up with the members (I'm even excited for the new album) but I listen to them in a different sense. Instead of making them my heroes and thinking that "I kissed the scars on her skin" is super inspirational, Pierce The Veil is seen as kind of a throwback type of thing. Just like how I couldn't let go of Taylor Swift for awhile, leaving this band seems weird. They were a huge part of me in seventh grade and even though thirteen year old Ann is no longer who I am today (thank God) I still feel that there are bits and pieces of myself that I want to keep and Pierce The Veil is not just the music to me at this point (this is beginning to sound pretentious) but more of a really great memory. They made me so happy at an extremely low point in my life and though I don't believe their music is amazing, they did gave the past version of myself so much that continues to give me something and that's where I find importance. As Sam said, "If you're taking Pierce The Veil seriously, you're doing it wrong." I can't say I have much experience with Sleeping With Sirens. I know their songs and have listened to bits and pieces of Feel along with all of their other albums but I never got so invested that they bring back anything. What I'm basically trying to sum up here I guess is that these were bands I'd been waiting years to see and there was almost some sort of closure once I'd watched them live. 
   Since we had regular general admission, this meant getting there early. All three of us were insane and showed up at 2:00 in the afternoon (the doors didn't open until 6:00 and the show wasn't due to start until an hour later). The first half an hour was fun- we talked and fan girled and looked out for scene kids and met a band that was advertising their tour. Sam pointed out that they sounded like Memphis May Fire (which they did) and when I said that wasn't exactly an insult but no one wants to be compared to Matty Mullins, the lead singer began going on about how all he needed was red hair and a cool beard and I added "and to be a complete douchebag". But then it got cold. And windy. And we still had four hours before we could even go inside. I started out in my "sheep coat" (as Madison called it), a hat, and scarf but as we realized coat check was extremely limited, Sam's parents came and took our stuff so we didn't end up in a pit with heavy clothing on. This meant I was standing outside during the coldest weekend of the year in a tank top, shorts, and tights with a small blanket wrapped around my shoulders. The next three hours were spent eating gold fish from the girl in front of us, pretending to kick each other and singing "kick kick kick me when I'm down" (it was that kind of boredom), and whining about how cold it was.
left to right: Sam, me, and Madison (pre blankets)
   We were finally let inside and ended up with awesome spots (the VIPs got barricade sadly) and so ready for Pvris to start up (we'd actually met Lyn's girlfriend before the show who was super nice). Though Sam and Madison had never listened to them, we all got extremely into it (especially at the point where everyone was jumping and I went so crazy my phone slipped out of my pocket and I had to find it on the floor). Their entire set was incredible and Lyn kept making smart comebacks whenever people shouted gross things about her body and was beautiful and talented and perfect. That's also when the pushing began and holy shit I knew the crowd for these shows were nasty but this was insane. It was literally just a wave in which you'd be thrown into the person in front of you to the point where you had no use of your arms and could barely breathe. The assholes behind this were a group of girls standing behind me screeching the lyrics (they claimed they only pushed to see Pvris and would leave right after but unsurprisingly stayed). Mallory Knox was up next and basically no one in the crowd had heard them (they were adorable and british) but god dammit they were so fucking good. I also loved that the lead singer said multiple times that everyone had to stop pushing (not that it did much though). 
Mallory Knox
   Sleeping With Sirens was the first to go out of the main bands and unexpectedly, Kellin was his major tool self but it was funny (he is gorgeous live at least) and Sam and I kept making comments on who let him have the mic. They started up with "Kick Me" which was hilarious and went onto "Trophy Father's Trophy Son", "Congratulations" (thank God there was no Matty Mullins in sight), "Here We Go", and "Low" (I don't remember the particular order in which they were played) before Kellin slowed it down with a cover of "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls (which is one of my favorites) and "Rodger Rabbit". "Go Go Go", "We Like It Loud", and "If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn" (Sam and I kept singing "they say that love is forever, your $80 is all that I need") were also played before ending with "If You Can't Hang". Highlights of the set were when a fan yelled "open your eyes!" and Kellin responded saying that he can't because since his valentine isn't here, he smoked a lot of pot before the show and when he basically ended the pushing telling everyone to stop because we were hurting all these pretty girls and it wasn't OK. Their set was slightly over the top with a lot of confetti, lights, and back boards playing graphics. It added to the show pretty nicely and though it was a little much, I'm not complaining. 

Though Kellin mainly took over, Jack had awesome stage presence

"when everythings made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am"
   Finally, it was onto Pierce The Veil (being honest, mainly everyone there was waiting to see them) the pushing had died down but we'd somehow ended up two rows back from where we started, pushed up against a side barrier. Ugh. The anticipation for this was insane after they'd set down a curtain with the Collide With the Sky woman that you could only see silhouettes of people through. At the end of every horrible techno song the venue played, there was about three seconds of waiting, hoping for them to begin. Finally, everything got quiet and dark and "May These Noises Startle You In Your Sleep Tonight" was blasting. After Sleeping With Sirens, my energy was low and I was extremely thirsty but right when that curtain dropped, I was full energy. "Hell Above" was their opening and holy shit it's so weird after two years of listening seeing this band live. Like these are real people. It was also the best because my favorite member, Tony Perry, was on my side of the crowd. I was screaming and jumping and pointing and doing about everything else to "Bulls In The Bronx" and"Disasterology" until the rest of the band left the stage and there was only Vic and an acoustic guitar. "I'm Low On Gas and You Need a Jacket" was the first PTV song I'd ever heard and my favorite so hearing these lyrics sung in front of me was one of the weirdest experiences ever because I know this was important to thirteen year old me. Not to say that I need to hold onto every single thing I ever liked from years ago but this song was the soundtrack to so many things. I wrote blog posts and diary entries with this song in the background. I loved this shit and it wasn't the song itself that got me in tears but that at one point in my life, this is what I felt was important and for some reason it didn't have the same power as it used to and that got me scared. The overall best part of the night was when Vic had a long pause before the bridge and the crowd immediately picked it up causing Vic to smile like a little kid. It was extraordinarily adorable. "A Match Into Water" was next and the three of us laughed at the twelve year old "inspiration" within the lyrics. We also danced to "Props and Mayhem" and "Hold On 'Till May" before pushing our way through the crowd during "Bulletproof Love" (we didn't want to have to deal with the insanity of "King For a Day") but as we got merch and stood back, I was able to take everything in. Pierce The Veil's set was gorgeous. There was a simple banner behind them with the band's name but later on, everything looked like a galaxy (not in a gross tumblr way). 

Ok I'm so proud of this picture
just call me Adam Elmakias

As I choke, try to wash you down with something strong
   There was blizzard outside once it was all over and we ended up drinking free Rockstar energy (I became the worst emo kid ever) and going to a TGI Friday's at 1:00 in the morning before going to our hotel and completely crashing. I'm not going to say that Pierce The Veil was some sort of magical experience or anything pretentious like that but seeing this band live added some sort of closure and I felt as though I owed it to myself (they're also surprisingly great live). 

Thursday, February 12, 2015

30 Reasons Why You Should Love Matthew Gray Gubler

(I found this in my drafts from about six months ago and thought it was the best thing I've ever spent time on)
As you all probably know, I have quite the obsession with actor, Matthew Gray Gubler, and here I will be simultaneously listing 30 reasons why I believe he is the best thing ever and bringing the quality of this blog down !!!
1. He is hilarious 
2. Can we talk about how adorable-y awkward he can get?
3. If you've seen any of his work, you can tell how amazing he is of an actor.
4. I absolutely can't stand horror but whenever Matthew directs any of the scarier episodes of "Criminal Minds" they're always fantastic.
5. He is on one of the only good crime shows.
6. Do I have to bring up Spencer Reid?
7. He can go from really nerdy cute to model status (which I personally don't like nearly as much).
8. He once stood outside in New York City on crutches taking pictures with fans and though he REALLY didn't need to do this, he really showed he wanted to be there and was extremely nice to his fans. 
10. His recordings of "Annabel Lee" and "The Tell Tale Heart" are so beautifully done.
11. He can be really self deprecating.
12. The fact he wears mis matching socks every day because the last time he wore matching socks he sprained his ankle is pretty awesome.
13. His mockumentary series is probably one the funniest things I have ever seen.
14. When he does that thing with his hair behind his ears.
15. OK let's not deny how gorgeous he is.
16. Can we talk about how talented he is? I mean this man is an actor, director, writer, and artist.
17. I really like how weird and "out there" his portraits are.
18. The amount of times he has changed his hair style fascinates me.
19. Matthew is just an overall interesting person. I mean his entire lifestyle is rather unique.
20. Am I the only one who thinks that the fact he lives in an old hotel in LA is the coolest thing ever?
21. He's close friends with Wes Anderson and was mentored by him in college.
22. His old modeling photos are the funniest things ever and I love how he pokes fun at them.
23. He has an appeal for anyone. 
24. Matthew's  dedication to his fans is so strong and I find that amazing.
25. His directing skills are so great like I swear to god he can make anything look good.
26. His music taste is A+.
27. It is adorable how during his liveshows he really listens to what his fans have to say and gets really engaged.
28. Can we talk about that interview he did on his first stage kiss? Because I loved how nervous he got for it showed even big actors like him can get scared over things like that.
29. His glasses though.
30. Um he's Matthew Gray Gubler.

OK this either made the quality of How Fitting go drastically up or dramatically down. It's hard to tell to be honest.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

i swim in the water that's breaking your levy

John, Sam, and I hung out last night and it was freezing cold and I wore John's coat for a little bit until I took that off and became even colder. The ground on park across from John's was frozen over so we tried our hardest to get across the ice without it breaking and everything was peaches and gravy. 

i was trusted enough to take pictures of john and sam and they turned out surprisingly cute 

(i kept comparing john to bill murray throughout the night)

feminist fatalexmr john bell

we tried to take some "action shots"

john catching me mid fall through ice

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Ain't That America? (Concepts of American Idiot and American Beauty/American Psycho)


   A favorite concept of mine is the American dream because what is it really? Grilling burgers at your suburban block party? A heterosexual couple with two children? Baseball? There's a constant undertone of this dream and completely destroying the idea through either satire or comparing it to our era right now in about everything from John Mellancamp's "Pink Houses" to my friend, Adison's, song "Bad Things" or one of my favorites, "Little Boxes" by Malvina Reynolds. There are endless ways to take at the American dream from a picket fence house to milk and honey because it seems as though every movie or song or music video wants to be perceived as shocking. We want reaction and slight horror (basically anything you wouldn't want grandma seeing) every naked woman swinging on a wrecking ball or man singing about date rape is made for that shock factor. The idea of "edgy" that goes up against the entire idea of the American dream.
   Going off of this, two concept albums have highlighted the theme in similar yet different ways. Green Day's American Idiot and Fall Out Boy's most recent album, American Beauty/American Psycho both perceive the ultimate American dream of baseball and cute suburban towns but while Green Day's story follows rebels against this, Fall Out Boy has a mix between aggressiveness yet has this indifferent feel in other songs- they describe it as, "the odd place where light and dark meet. there is a threshold". 
   American Idiot is a pretty straight to the point with their story line: opening with the song "American Idiot" 
"don't wanna be an American idiot"
"subliminal mind fuck America"
and goes into the character, Jesus Of Suburbia, who then meets Whatsername and St. Jimmy who go up against these ideas and venture to "Boulevard of Broken Dreams", and as we learn more about our band of characters there's a realization that St. Jimmy and Jesus of Suburbia are the same person (JOS is Jimmy's alter ego in a sense) and that him and Whatsername lose connection. In her self titled song through the point of view of Jesus of Suburbia/St. Jimmy, you get the sense she has given up on the cause and almost fell into classic America 
"did she ever marry old whats his face?" 
"she went away and then I took a different path." 
Billy Joe Armstrong's inspiration for his female character came from the famous Bikini Kill song, "Rebel Girl" who is most likely a teenager. The song "Whatsername" shows a grown up Rebel Girl and how as she grew older, no longer had the fight in her and instead married and settled down with a husband. 
   On the other side, there is American Beauty/American Psycho and though it's arguable, I would label this under being a concept album because the theme of classic America is ongoing. Though tracks such as ones named after American actress, "Uma Thurman", do have sense of dreaming America, the song that best depicts the fucked up American dream is no doubt "The Kids Aren't Alright". Mentioning trophy cases, crooked smiles, and old photographs of those who are now dead, it highlights the model family yet has a dark edge to it. Both verses have a sarcastic tone to them and cut into that while we can cover up issues with crooked smiles and distract ourselves with filling up the trophy case, the kids (people of America) aren't alright. 
   In the end, the American dream continues to be debatable because there are so many ways to take it on. My dad and I were in the car today discussing it this morning and he was telling me that there was a point in time where this dream was seen as something other countries looked up to because while we were grilling burgers in our backyards, there was (and continues to be) such a large amount of shit going on around us. Both concept albums have that spark of teenage angst mixed with real feelings against this almost impossible way of seeing the world today. 

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

all we ever share are dial tones

   i love so many people wow. John, Sam, and I hung out on Saturday before me and John went off to a birthday party for our friend, Eva, but beforehand, we walked into town to get her a present (we ended up deciding on a giant cupcake stuffed animal) and John took really pretty pictures of me and Sam. The entire night as a whole though was amazing- we went to the toy store and got fries at Stoney's and worked on the Fresh-Men's new hit single and everything was perfect and grand. When Sam and I saw the pictures, John commented that they looked somewhat cinematic. My response to this was naturally that it's a Sundance Film Festival short film about existentialism because everything is dark and people have colored hair. 


it was fucking freezing outside but John insisted on taking photos of us as we walked back

as we we're walking into town- deer ran across the street from the reservation and I got overly excited

Friday, January 16, 2015

spent the night in the devil's dressing room

    The past two weeks have been kind of a mess. Starting off with everything, I was back at school from winter break which sucks but kind of helped me because I get to see my friends who I don't normally hang out with after school and I was a little on edge for the past few days of break. I spent my New years Eve alone for the second time in a row which broke my heart for when I get sad, things tend to crash down and I can't think rationally. New Years seems a lot like forced fun in the end but I don't want to think about that anymore.
   On another note, I've gotten really close with the people in my two math classes and one of the people who is part of that group, Kiara, came back from vacation this week which was crazy exciting because I missed her loads and loads.
Yasmin, me, and Leonel 

    I even got productive and did my LIM scholorship essay which if I get the money, means I can live in a dorm in New York for the summer which would be fantastic.
   Also my favorite band in the whole world, All Time Low, just released the first single off of their next album, Future Hearts. I particularly think the name is a little stupid but "Something's Gotta Give" was incredibly catchy and I like that they've kept with their classic pop punk style. They also announced their tour with State Champs and Tonight Alive (I have the biggest crush on Jenna McDougall) and I definitely need to get tickets because they've been my favorite band since I was twelve.
    Oh and Shin drew me and got me down perfectly and he's the greatest and I'm so happy to know him because every now and then, we have great conversations about Hannibal Lector.

   This is just a quick update and I guess I'll see you guys next time

Sunday, January 4, 2015


   So in a previous post of mine, I talked about being with my group of friends walking through various cool places of our town. Since John took some awesome shots, I decided putting them into a separate post would do them more justice. 
portrait of yours truly

i'm just an angsty teen from a suburban town who enjoys standing in dog cages from abandoned shelters

sam and i standing with a giant pile of salt 
flash spelling- i got the "o" because i wasn't trusted to write anything without fucking it up
me and my bff, Sam
a field we went down to find a lot full of buses 

smiley gurl
sunset over the field

corn field we had to walk through

awful attempt at light drawing
ps. I saw Fiona on Friday in the city (I also finally went to Housing Works bookstore cafe which is the best thing ever because I have the biggest love for Housing Works)

we've both grown quite a lot since the "twitter twin" days
me and fee's friend, carsyn, who i met that night too