An Open Letter to Nicole Arbour

Dear Nicole,
   Your recent video has caused me to feel a lot of different things, one of those being shame for myself and body. I am not a large woman, I do have curves and fat around my stomach and large thighs that have taken me awhile to love and on some days, still be ashamed but just like you, have never been classified as "fat" or "obese". I don't mean to attack you or criticize your "type" of comedy, but there is a line between satire and flat out offensive and you crossed it in "Dear Fat People". In a way, I can see why you thought of this as OK. I have noticed you make quite a lot of videos in which you mention how you don't care about offending others and even in this videos paid notice to that but to me, I don't think what you created is humorous or "just being silly". Though you may have not meant to, you caused harm to your viewers.
   Starting off, you claim,
"fat shaming is not a thing, fat people made it up" using hyperboloid situations of large people complaining about not being able to fit through doors in a condescending voice. How many times have you heard this actually be said instead of I don't know... complaints on how modern media completely shoves about every body type that isn't thin under the rug and lack of representation because that's mainly what plus sized people are talking about. I would also like to point out your comment that fat people should "stop eating" to become skinny which speaks for itself on being wrong and perpetuates eating disorders as something OK to lose weight with. You even say fat shaming is a great idea because it makes fat being stop being fat. Though I can't speak for your experiences, I can bet you've never been fat shamed. Having others comment on your body isn't fun. It isn't inspirational. Being shamed for the body I live has never inspired me to change, it has brought me personally, and others all across the world to hate ourselves. You calling being fat assisted suicide and comparing obesity to being a shopaholic is also a problem. I'm realizing I don't even have to write this post because all these things you claim speak for themselves without explanation.
   Another thing worth mentioning is your comments on body positivity. For some enlightenment, there is a difference between body positivity and encouraging obesity. The idea of #bodyposi is to share love of human beings, who are constantly being attacked for their appearance, to spread love and well, positivity about themselves and to encourage self love and you comparing this community to things such as chain-smoking and meth completely invalidates and disrespects self love and the ideals around it. This hashtag isn't to help fat people lose weight and your condescending words aren't appreciated.
   The internet does not need a conventionally attractive woman (also your comment on being a minority was an offense in it's own) talking about plus sized people. And please don't try and claim you're being helpful because you aren't. You're horribly undereducated on this topic and should actually understand what you're discussing before clicking "post" to YouTube. I'd really recommend you watch Meghan Tonjes because she wrote a much better response than I did.
Thank you,
Annie

One Direction (and other): Why I Need Feminism

   Just this week, One Direction finally released the music video for their latest hit, "Drag Me Down". To say the entire thing was creative is an understatement; it includes robots, the boys running after a camera at rather awkward angles, and the ultimate point in which our favorite boy band is shot into space. Though I could write up an entire post about my love for the extravaganza that was the "Drag Me Down" video, there's actually a pretty big elephant in the room that comes with the attention the band is receiving, mainly from a male standpoint. Though most reactions towards DMD were positive and excited, there of course, had to be a chorus of "girls only listen to their music because they're hot" and though these things usually pop up with anything, there's an actual problem within saying this. Let's completely take everything we know about One Direction/ any biases against them and start from the beginning. "Drag Me Down" currently holds the title of #1 in 80 countries. EIGHTY. And this isn't even the first time something like this has happened- about all of their previous singles have hit first place on the iTunes charts without preorders. Going off of that, the British band have broken the Vevo records multiple times along with playing sold out or close to sold out shows every single night in the most well known venues on their world tour. So why don't they gain more respect? Why does a large portion of people still claim females who enjoy bands like One Direction are only there for the looks of the members? And no, it's actually not the performer's faults comments like this are usually put across, it's the demographic. One Direction's main audience is extremely versatile. Their listeners go from eight year old girls to college students. Mainly all female. This group of people is incredibly impressive- it's tough to land the pre-teen population already but also having young through older teens, and young adults (think recent college graduates) calling themselves directioners is almost considered impossible. A band that appeals to such drastically different age groups is usually something celebrated. But with their almost 97% fanbase of girls, One Direction is thought of as talentless because females can't possibly actually enjoy music, they must have a crush on one of the members to latch onto a band like this. Yes, it is very much true that most of their audience is attracted towards the boys but that's completely understandable; in a video done by Lacy Green, she describes "fangirling" or having a crush on a famous person as something completely normal and actually scientific in the minds of girls growing up (which fits most of 1D's fans). Another great point to bring up is these ladies' source of income. Being young, these directioners are mostly working minimum wage jobs or relying completely on their parents. They aren't giving up their paycheck or birthday present for the album or tickets to see four talentless boys. They enjoy the music and yes, the members but this behavior isn't driven from the pure attraction of Harry Styles. It's a love for the content this band creates and the way it makes them feel.
   Think of it as this: if One Direction's fanbase was mainly all male, their reputation and music would be taken much more seriously. The idea that the bands and artists that have a co-ed or mostly male audience are more respectable and talented is ridiculous. The statement, "girls only like One Direction because of their looks", also puts across the idea that all women are boy obsessed and can't appreciate something unless they find attractive value within the artist. When you turn it on it's head, the situation is actually pretty funny because of how large a double standard it is. For this year's Victoria's Secret fashion show, more men tuned in live than woman to watch supermodels walk across a runway in lingerie. Though Taylor Swift gave a pretty killer performance, it is easily argued that this male audience was there for the looks of the models. So why are guys allowed to literally just watch conventionally gorgeous women walk across a stage whereas girls can't enjoy a band with attractive members?
   It's sad to watch a band that has one of the most powerful fanbases and has put an influence on the demographic of teenagers (one of the hardest to hit ever) can't be taken seriously because directioners are mainly all female. It's even sadder that these fans are constantly having to prove themselves to guys (and even some women) for their taste in music because of being seen as "boy crazy". Though this post only covered One Direction specifically because of my own liking and experiences, this can be applied to any artist within the industry- these double standards hitting females are ridiculous.

 

A Talk On Front Porch Step

   If you don't feel like reading the entire statement I've got prepared, this sentence sums it all up: Warped needs to get their shit together. Let's take this back a couple months. In January, the band's single member, Jake McElfresh was accused of sexual harassment of multiple underage girls through text and in person confrontations. Screenshots of messages got out and all hell broke loose- there was a pretty obvious divide: the ignorant Front Porch Step fans that were excited to see their favorite band at Warped and those actually concerned for victims of McElfresh's actions and future young girls he could possibly harm. Even if McElfresh had learned his lesson and wouldn't repeat this, those who manipulate and harm anyone should NOT be given opportunities to thrive within this industry. There was a petition started against Front Porch Step playing the tour and though it did not reach it's ultimate goal, conversation was sparked and founder, Kevin Lyman, said he was dealing with it- around two days later, the band was dropped from Pure Noise and Allison Weiss, who had planned to tour the UK with McElfresh, made a statement saying she had left the tour. Though radical and great procedures were being made, there continued to be no statement from Lyman. In the end, a statement on Lyman's twitter was made that FPS would not be attending. However, on July 1, In Nashville, our favorite band was due to play. Needless to say, I along with thousands of others, were furious. How dare Lyman allow this to happen? Especially after calling him off? Thankfully, there was countless backlash against McElfresh on multiple member's of tour's twitters telling him to not stick around or else "you want to find out what half the people on this tour want to do to you" and to see Man Overboard at the same time instead. Dan "Soupy" Campbell even cancelled his performance in the acoustic basement due to play after FPS. There were even discussions at band tents on the issues of allowing a sexual abuser play a major music festival. Although most of the right publicity for the performance was displayed, there was inevitably going to be comments from fans supporting him. Most supporters claimed there was no evidence against McElfresh's actions along with saying they'd see him at Warped. Luckily, this was a complete one time thing, FPS played twenty minutes and then left. On a music website, it was said that this performance was a part of a rehabilitation process and that supervisors were there, Warped Tour also did not pay him. Lyman reported, "Since no one has filed a charge, for me it’s time to move on. He’s not on the whole tour, this is one piece of a puzzle of trying to bring people back that have made mistakes in their lives. He could be going to jail, and if there had been charges against him I assure you he wouldn’t have been here." Though this statement is riddled with many different controversial things (such as why is performing in front of fans !!the people he's hurt!! part of his therapy) the line that sticks out the most to me is "this is one piece of a puzzle of trying to bring people back that have made mistakes in their lives." zoom in a little more on one single word: MISTAKES. What Jake McElfresh did is NOT a mistake. Forgetting to lock the door behind you before you leave the house is a mistake. Sexual harassing multiple underage girls is a crime. Jake McElfresh did not make a mistake. He committed a crime. To sum up this large hunk of writing, I am livid Warped and Kevin Lyman allowed Front Porch Step to play this year's Nashville date and I believe the incident has sparked some great conversation on how to make music festivals like this more safe and how to avoid things like this. Overall, this entire situation is a wake up call towards Warped Tour. If something like this happens again, I can guarantee I will not be attending the festival next year. 

Research:
♥Kevin Lyman Explains Why Front Porch Step Played Today's Warped Tour: 'This Was a One-Time Supervised Part of a Rehabilitation Process'
♥Musicians React to Front Porch Step Playing Warped Tour
♥Everything We Know About The Sexual Harassment Allegations Front Porch Step
♥Front Porch Step Speaks Out In Lengthy Statement "You deserve to hear my side of the story"

Breaking News! Alex Day Crawled Out Of His Hole To Blame Victims!

   Hello, this week's post is on a more negative note for I felt that I needed to discuss the recent events in which Alex Day has posted two new videos on his channel. I have written an insane amount of posts on the topic of sexual abuse within YouTubers and felt as though it was time to cut to the chase and make a video since it is not only quicker but (as incredibly powerful as writing is) I just felt you should see my face and recognize my tone on how NOT OK this is . I am sorry for how awful of a speaker I am and hope this will clear up that Alex's videos aren't apologies but ways to get his fan base back and though I am all for him becoming a better man and moving on, YouTube is no place for him to do so.
♥Holly's video
♥Master Blog on Alex's actions
♥The Geeky Blonde's video
♥My first ever Alex Day post
♥Charlie's post

You're Worse Than The Janoskians

   Judging by the somewhat unprofessional title, you can tell I'm not the biggest fan of You Tube's trashiest boy band, The Janoskians, but wait! Unlike some annoying fan girl, I have actual reasoning behind why this group is awful and you guessed it! It's because of the craze of them being called "feminists" and helping with anti-fat shaming. So really this post could be called "Why The Janoskians Aren't Feminists and In Fact Haven't Helped Anything Within The Body Positivity Section" but I don't think it has the same ring to it.
     As I said, I would hate The Janoskians regardless of wether or not they were known for promoting body positivity when they really didn't but that would be a rather awful and pointless post to write whereas when I keep it within this section I believe it stays more topical to How Fitting. In May of last year, the boy band released a music video for their latest single, "Real Girls Eat Cake", and that is where I believe it all began. Let's just talk about the lyrics for a second. The first verse basically objectifies woman calling them a "fucking dipshit" (because we all love that). The chorus goes onto saying some actually cool things such as "I don't need a girl to worry about her thigh gap" and "When you're with me you can be who you want" (we can just ignore how uncreative it was written and how bad the tune is). The second verse happens with more uncreative and stupid lyrics such as talking about how sexy their mom is and then the bridge comes on with just "real girls real girls real girls eat cake" (couldn't they have thought of anything better?) and it finally comes to a close.
    I am all for body positivity in the media- especially within people as famous as The Janoskians doing something but this song did none of that. If you pay attention to the girls in the actual music video, none of them are large or curvy- oh wait! There was one big girl but she was used as a comical piece of being the gross one no one wanted to be around. Dear Janoskians, if real girls eat cake then why do all the girls in your music video look like they don't eat anything? Before I begin getting comments on how I need to "lighten up" or I'm taking this too seriously, I would like to flat out say that in no way am I tearing apart this "band" for my personal enjoyment. I really do believe young men with a large group of teenage girls watching their every move need to promote things like this in a fair and right way. Why was it that every "sexy" girl portrayed in this video was a size zero model? If I don't need to worry about my thigh gap why couldn't you have cast young women without one?
    If you thought this video was bad, you haven't seen their recent gem, "That's What She Said". If the song isn't enough sad trash (again bad lyrics, no real meaning, just five guys being extraordinary stupid and untalented). I found the music video pretty fucking offensive. The video is set on a beach where the five guys are lifeguards and as expected, there is no shortage of hot, skinny, girls in bikinis but don't worry! There is one curvy girl being portrayed as this gross, fat, and crazy woman who is obsessed with one of the members so I mean they casted one larger person so it's all good right? Nope. How are these boys considered good role models when they are objectifying women and shaming them for their bodies? Why have they portrayed curvy girls as these funny and insane people while the skinny women get to be the love interests? The only thing they are doing is harm- this doesn't make me feel OK about my body.
    The the quintet doesn't stop with their music videos. The boys have been known to call their audience (who have payed hundreds of dollars to see these pieces of shit) "sluts" and comment on their bodies like they are discussing pieces of meet saying things such as "The girl in the front has such nice tits" and "Some of you girls at the meet and greet had the best asses." because it's just awesome to be objectified! They are also know for some really cool pranks such as pretending to jerk off in public, screaming profanities in public places around young children, and telling underage girls that their boobs are hot so what's not to love about them?
   To wrap this up, The Janoskians are really just assholes who have zero talent and I refuse to even consider them as part of the body positivity community.

Calling Out Veeoneeye

 I think these past days (and week- you'll see soon) have been in the theme of the recent YouTuber situation in which popular vloggers are sexually abusing others. On Friday, I posted an article talked about Sam Pepper and his "social experiment" but today, I feel the need to talk about something that hits closer. As most of you know from posts about him (here ) I loved Jason- aka Veeoneeye on YouTube. I mean he was funny and carefree and had cool friends and a good taste in music and therefor I invested a good two years in watching his videos and supporting some guy I barely knew. At Warped Tour, I even met him. I really can't say much about our time together- I was over the moon about seeing this guy in real life and therefor didn't really judge our experience the day I saw him. I was just so happy I could finally meet him that I didn't really care. The two of us took a picture and I touched his hair (that felt like a load of hairspray and disappointment since I always believed it would feel like candy floss) and then hung around for another ten minutes since there were only three other girls at his little tent. Jason was the first YouTuber (and only one so far) I've met so I really couldn't compare it to anything. He said it was nice to meet me and signed my black Vans (I'm actually really sad now that I have his signature on a pair of my favorite shoes).

   There was one shady piece in which the girl standing with me (lets call her Maddy- we talked a lot while he was chatting with the two other people at the meet up) commented on how hot it was to which he replied,
"Maybe you should just take off your shirt." I realize it was just a little joke (let me just put out there Maddy was like fourteen years old) but things didn't end there. When he hugged her, his hands began traveling down her waist and towards her ass. Maddy pulled away in surprise and nervously giggled out something like,
"Whoa there." but you could tell how embarrassed and uncomfortable she was with how he almost touched her. Jason then laughed it off and went to the tent and didn't talk to us for the rest of the time we were there.
  There are multiple allegations against Jason that are all equally as important and frightening as the next because you would never imagine a guy like him doing something this terrible. Starting with one of the first blogs that came to my attention, I'd like to discuss "Vianon". Her story focuses on a flirty relationship she had with Jason this year when she was merely thirteen. He would send her pictures of his hickeys, drop strange hints towards liking her, and even at one point hinted towards wanting nudes. Though you should never ever doubt the victim, this girl does have proof of their interaction through screenshots she took of every single message. There is also another frightening story of a girl who befriended Jason online (she was a huge fan) they ended up in a hotel with a bottle of Vodka. Jason pressured her to drink more than a sixteen year old should and they ended up sleeping together and he never talked to her again. Overall, you can definitely gather that Jason's behavior is creepy and inappropriate.
   Jason getting underage girls drunk seems like a common occurrence within these stories as you can tell in Ania's video about her experience with him. The two of them met in London when she was fifteen and he was around twenty. They spent the night together and Jason decided to buy alcohol- through the night, he'd make comments such as "you need another drink" and Ania said clearly in the video that he seemed to have one goal: get her really drunk. It doesn't stop there though and instead of describing it in this post I just think you guys need to hear Ania tell her story here. I also screens shotted some of her tweets from her page that are really great.

   I also love Jason's (old) friend group very much and they are all responding very well and have all confirmed they had no clue this was going on and disapprove of his behavior. Even his former housemate, Luke Cutforth, says he really wasn't aware of this and wish it had never happened. Everyone who he used to be close with (excluding Patty- he's probably just too overwhelmed to go online right now) have now said publicly that they are not letting his get away with it and have pulled away. I am especially proud of Emma Blackery for her supportive tweets towards the survivors of Jason's abuse.

Emma hadn't found out about what Jason was doing unit tonight and she was obviously overwhelmed but cleared up her opinions on Twitter.

She was accused of knowing about Jason's relationships and having pre-written all her other tweets for the occasion when it got out but she immediately defended herself against that ridiculous accusation.

Emma is obviously extremely scared and upset by this (as a normal person would be) and I have faith in her that once she gets herself composed, she will be the intelligent and strong person she is within addressing the situation. 

   

Bribry speaking out about how corrupt YouTube is getting and also making sure everyone supports the victim instead of going towards people in Jason's former friends.

   Jason uploaded a video on Saturday night addressing the allegations which though I hate to say that he did something right in a situation like this, I do believe what he did was more professional than other You Tubers who have just run away from all their problems and pretend as though they didn't happen (at least it wasn't a social experiment!). The video overall is just him talking about his dependency on alcohol at that time. In the end, there is no excuse for having sex with a fifteen year old girl at age twenty but I really can't say how I felt about the video. I guess you guys just need to watch it for yourselves here.
      As I said in my Sam Pepper post, there is a lot we need to change about YouTube. We are treating these people as though we know them and put all our trust in them and that has been proven to be wrong. In Jason's case, we need to "amputate" him from here. That means no more Vidcon, Summer In The City, Playlist, Warped Tour etc. No more clicking his ads or watching videos- unsubscribe. We don't need abusers like Jason on here and since the viewers are what give him the power, we can take it away by not supporting him. I also believe these victims stories are super important and a warning to others and therefor we need to spread this. What is going on right now is very significant and therefor talking about it on YouTube, Twitter, Tumblr, blogs, etc is a great way to spread the message and hopefully stop things like this from happening.
   I also wanted to add two videos; One on the topic of the YouTube community and sexual abuse by The Third Pew and one very personal one about Jason by one of his former best friends, Evan Edinger here (I am warning you it is slightly painful to watch)

You've been you, I've been concerned about the YouTube community.

Calling Out Sam Pepper

   I realize I am about a week late on this but I felt the need to gather my thoughts instead of posting a raging fit of feminist anger and frustration. As most of you may know, popular YouTubers and internet douche bag, Sam Pepper posted a new video on his channel in celebration of a milestone amount of subscribers (I completely forgot how many…) which is all good and fun until we all figured out the video shouted sexual abuse. Just like the Janoskians (another popular group of talentless boys), Sam is known for his zany pranks in which he makes those around him feel uncomfortable. He's known for handcuffing himself to woman, stalking girls through Instagram, pressuring strangers to make out with him, and many more cringe worthy pranks. Though these tricks are awful, Pepper crossed the line of creepy where he squeezed girl's butts without their consent. The whole funny part of the video was that he would stop random women on the street and ask for directions- let me just clear up here that these girl's were doing him a favor! They were nice enough to help him out and he thanked them by squeezing their asses while they weren't looking then going onto cracking up over it while the victims just sat there feeling violated. Let me just start by saying this is illegal! And clearly these women didn't like what had just happened. In fact one of them even flat out said "I don't like that." when she found out he'd been the once pinching her ass all along. YouTuber, Jack Dodge, also made the point on his channel (video below) that when you're making a YouTube video, there are always millions of outtakes so think of how many women he must have done that to and how many reactions there were that he decided weren't suitable for his viewers.
   About four days later, the video had, thank God, been deleted off of YouTube but that didn't stop the responses from wonderful role models such as Candice and her fiancé, Bribry.

   So at this point you may be asking,
"why are you writing a post about something that was already resolved?" well first off, you probably won't be thinking that since I have this thing for putting words in other people's mouths but getting past that, something really important that was sparked by this excuse for a YouTube video's release.
   I don't believe I have ever mentioned Dottie (otherwise known as thisbedottie on YouTube) but she is one of my favorite YouTubers and she recently released a video talking about an experience she had when she was only sixteen years old and Sam was twenty three. She had met him at a meet and greet and she described that by the end, she could easily tell he was into her so he invited a minor to a seemingly innocent date at the movies. Things began getting shady after she let him kiss her and then he began to place his hands on various (intimate) parts of her body. Since she had already outstepped her comfort zone, Dottie took his hands off of her- which let me remind you she had every right to do. She had only spoken to this man once and he was marginally older than her so she wasn't feeling comfortable with the situation and calmly took his hands off her own body. He then continued to place HER hands on his body which she pulled away. Obviously this was too much for her and she made the excuse to get away from him saying she should catch her bus but she could tell he was angry with this and since she was a fan, didn't want to upset him and stayed for the rest of the movie. Once they got out of the cinema, he literally ran away from her without saying goodbye and therefor she Facebook messaged him that night (she provides actual proof in the video) saying,
"You're horrible." but she told him the next morning she was sorry and he should have a nice day because she didn't want him to hate her.

   Dottie was merely a sixteen year old girl and Sam Pepper was a grown man who manipulated her into doing something she clearly didn't want. In the video, she states he stopped being kind to her once she made it clear there was no sexual promise. This video mainly got positive feedback since it was extremely brave of her to post but there was of course one person who had to make a fuss; this being Kalel (otherwise known as "Kalel Kitten").
   Let me start off by just talking a little about something I learned during the whole Alex Day/ Tom Milsom thing; YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BELIEVE THE VICTIM. I think anyone who has ever read through How Fitting could tell that I was a massive Tom and Alex fan and as heartbroken as I was that my heroes would do something like this, that didn't stop me from giving them what they deserved which was definitely not my respect. I, of course, didn't want to believe the accusations were real but I did since there is literally nothing you can do wrong by believing a victim- you are putting faith and defending a vulnerable person who has been through a lot. Kalel completely threw all of those morals aside and had no problem saying that Dottie was probably lying about the entire situation and said that she was overreacting and trying to ruin Sam's life. I could go on and on about how wrong what she did was but to sum it up, Kalel's behavior was repulsive.

   The thing that really bothers me about this tweet is how she tells Dottie, someone who was taken advantage of, to just "Calm down and unsub" as though this is something extremely easy to get over. Dottie, as you could tell, was very hurt and scarred by the things Sam did to her- how dare she trivialize that?

   OK Kalel, people make mistakes- it is a natural thing to do as a human being but this wasn't just Sam saying Dottie was stupid, he abused her. Sam Pepper is a grown man and when he touched Dottie, he knew what he was doing. It's not as though one second he was on an innocent date with a sixteen year old and then "Whoops! I guess my hands just accidentally began intimately touching you without consent!"
   Not only did many Twitter users call Kalel out on her shit but popular YouTuber, Emma Blackery, stood up for her good friend and did an awesome job of spreading awareness to her thousands of followers.

   As if the ridiculousness of Sam Pepper didn't stop there, he had to post a part two of girls pinching guy's butts and then a third video claiming it was all a social experiment and we all need to calm down. Can I just comment on how stupid that is? Sam Pepper obviously has an awesome management team but this could't save his ass. As I said in the beginning, Sam is known for this kind of shit and has never apologized for it but when people finally stand up to him, instead of saying sorry like a decent human being, he comes up with some weird excuse. As Bribry said in a video he made with Candice (that is super duper awesome and I will add to this post),
"Sam Pepper has made a video in which he sexually harasses women to tell us how much of a problem sexual harassment is. I would now like to say that I love animals, so I'm going to kick the shit out of some animals and put it in a video to show you how serious animal cruelty is. I like Harry Potter. I'm now going to find Daniel Radcliffe and slap him." This was such a good statement that shows how completely idiotic this "social experiment" is. I would like to pause and say how amazing both Bribry and Candice are and how great role models they have been for me.

   Since the last edition of Sam's series was posted, a large amount of women have been coming out with their own experiences involving this lame excuse of a man talking about how they were sexually harassed by him- there is even a story of rape in there (the survivor of this has posted a fifteen minute video telling her story that I am putting in here- I will warn you that it is quite scary and can be thought of as triggering so if you believe you will be triggered by this kind of thing, I'd advise you not to watch it.)

  The YouTube community and overall internet community needs to figure things out now. How can we let rapists and abusers such as Sam, Alex, and Tom run this place that is supposed to be safe and wonderful? Why are people accusing victims of lying instead of looking into this "hero" and his own behavior? I am sick and tired of hearing "You deserved it." or "You should be grateful." in the comments of these videos. I am tired of people like Sam Pepper being put on a pedestal. We as people on the internet and regular human beings need to take these abusers off websites such as YouTube, tumblr, and twitter because they are a danger to others and do not deserve to be here. To do this, we need to isolate Sam Pepper and other "harmless pranksters" like him. This means, do not click on his ads, watch his videos, or support him in any way possible. I am not saying I want to destroy Sam Pepper's life- I am just done with abusers like him on what is supposed to be safe place for people to create and show off their talents and as Bribry stated,
"YouTube is a wonderful place where people can be creative and show their talents and if your talent is sexually harassing women, you should be in jail."
   I am going to leave you guys with some really great responses towards Sam Pepper and the entire issue of sexual harassment. They are all made by awesome people and I would recommend 100% you watching and reading these responses.

Jack Dodge's video on how we need to make this stop.

Megan Tonjes parody of "Rude" singing about Sam Pepper and his video- it's super well written and Megan Tonjes is overall an ultimate babe.

A really awesome video regarding the things wrong with the entire situation.

Nathan of TheThirdPew on YouTube being real cool- he's an awesome guy and is pretty known for discussing things like this (his most famous video is on the whole Nash Grier situation in December)

I just loved how passive aggressive this was.

Luke Cutforth making fun of the whole "social experiment" (he makes a couple Sam Pepper puns in the end of his latest video) 

Dottie's lovely boyfriend, Patty Walters being great about Dottie's video. 

*Since Blogger is being a jerk, I couldn't upload this video but Laci Green's open letter to Sam Pepper is super important and you need to watch it here

You've been you, I've been repulsed by Sam Pepper and select people of the YouTube community's behavior.

"Consent" by Jack and Dean

    I have been a huge fan girl of British YouTube duo, Jack and Dean (aka omfgit'sjackanddean), for years now. I mean how could you not love them? They are funny, witty, and smart guys who create awesome content and this weekend, they made me a million times more proud to be their fan with a song based off of what we need to talk more about in the music industry- consent. Before I go into the awesomeness of this said video, I believe it would be helpful to give a background for those who are unaware of not only Jack and Dean are but also the events that happened not so long ago with the YouTube community. Consent and sexual abuse have been very popular topics on YouTube right now with thousands and creators and vloggers discussing their point of view not only on Alex Day and that group of douches (if you want more detail on that, click here) but what the word means and how we as a community need to end sexism and make not only the website a safer place, but everywhere. Jack and Dean have both talked about sexual abuse in previous videos but only touched on the subject and barely got in depth or discussed the popular topic which I at first was disappointed in especially since Jack Howard was so close to Alex Day and felt as though they could really move their large audience.
   Moving onto the actual video, there is so many things perfect with it. First, it's fun. Having a serious talking video would not have been them. Not to say that Jack and Dean aren't smart people or don't know when to stop joking, but the way they brought up such an important topic was in their style and you could tell they put tons of effort into it (they'd been working on it since January). Also, though it was a very fun and upbeat song, they discussed some vital things we need to change and how consent actually works. The topic of sexual abuse is extremely heavy stuff and like a lot of other YouTubers in Jack and Dean's genre, their audience ranges from twelve years olds to older teenagers therefor it must have been harder to create something with such a serious and significant message. The guys approached the it in a fun, witty, and creative way. I mean they wrote a pop song about consent, like how cool is that!
   Overall the video was entertaining and informational with hilarious dancing, a guitar solo, and great lyrics such as
"turn a new page from the sexist rage. It just shouldn't happen in this day and age."
"One of them decided to change their mind and just to clarify that's completely fine."
that really explains what consent is, how it works, and why it is essential. Let's also not forget the catchy chorus ("This guy wants you but only with your consent!"). The entire video really showed that Jack Howard and Dean Dobbs aren't just the silly guys who make sketches but people who can really bring a message across in a creative and lively way.

Austin Mahone? Mmh No

 

I'm going to start out with saying this is not in fact a recent song and I realize that-and though I'd hate to bring back old drama, people are still worshipping Austin Mahone and I feel as though it's important to share my own reasons on why this guy and his song are icky.
   Lets just get right into it and begin with the first couple lines of the song.
"I tell these women that it's all about a team
Jordan and Pippen man
So do you want to join the team
Now tell me little miss thang
Dale"
   Can I talk about how PROUD I am of Pit Bull? I mean wow good job sir you used words other than party and Miami! I didn't even know you knew that many words! Seriously though, what does this even mean? It kind of looks like he put a cluster of random words together and came up with this rap about telling woman "it's all about a team" and addresses a female as "little miss thang". Though this piece of the song isn't nearly as bad as the rest (believe it or not, it gets worse), it's flat out creepy. I really don't like how this man tells "these women" (meaning he's done this more than once) and calls a human being "little miss thang" which if you haven't actually realized, is a gross thing to say to someone. I mean he could call her "little miss boobs" or "little miss woman that I don't actually care about and will probably try and and sleep with and then move onto the next girl and tell her it's all about some fucking team." but I don't think that's the catchiest name and I don't know much about flirting and relationships but I don't think that's exactly what I, myself, would like to be addressed as. 

   Moving onto where it gets the actual point of the song, Austin comes in with 

"When I saw her

Walking down the street
She looked so fine
I just had to speak

I asked her name
But she turned away
As she walked
All that I could say was"

Wow I see that we're already going full speed ahead on the stupid train, Austin. To sum up what just happened (because apparently his fans aren't capable of reading lyrics and seeing the flaws in them), Mr. Austin Mahone saw a lady he thought was looking pretty nice and he apparently just had to speak. He then continued onto asking her name which is a pretty good way to start off a conversation. But seeing that this girl had the actual sense not to talk to gross strangers on the street, she walked away like a smart person. And then Austin left her alone because he saw that she wasn't interested and he respects her for choosing not to talk to him. Right? Nope. Our friend Austin, has to go into an extraordinarily idiotic chorus about how he said "mmh yeah" out loud to this poor woman. Before I go into all the shit that goes on with the refrain, let's just stay on these lines for a second. It's perfectly OK to think that someone that you see on the street looks nice. Just did he have to call her "fine"? There are so many words to describe some one's beauty and he just had to choose one of the most misogynistic ones. Then he goes up to the girl. I don't know about you but if a random guy came up to me and asked for my name I would no doubt do the same as the girl in the song and walk away because I listened in kindergarten when they said don't talk to strangers-especially trash like Austin Mahone. This girl did NOTHING wrong for leaving him. Obviously he was putting her in a very uncomfortable situation and she had the power to turn away from it. If the song could get any more misogynistic, the chorus happens.
"Mmm Mmm yeah yeah
Mmm Mmm yeah yeah
Mmm Mmm yeah yeah
All that I could say was"
  OK who wrote these lyrics? A five year old? How many times will people have to tell men that cat calling is NOT and will NEVER be a compliment? Cat calling is not a term of endearment. Cat calling is not sexy. It is not something attractive and sure doesn't make me feel better about myself or the person doing it. No matter how you do it, CAT CALLING IS NOT A COMPLIMENT. It disgusts me that someone would ever dedicate a top 40 song to something as repulsive as cat calling. Why couldn't he write another one of those stupid party songs? It's not as if his fans actually listen to his music. I mean why would you when you can just stare at his face? Amiright?

   Things get even dumber as we get into yet another GREAT verse.

"Six inch heels clickin up and down the street

You know she's comin and then she walks away way way way
I'm a big big deal, a little fun's all I need
But I can tell she don't believe what I said said said said said"

   I love how this song is basically made up of Austin getting rejected but wait! Austin is a "big big deal" and "a little fun" is all he needs so it's TOTALLY fine to talk about a girl as though she is an object. Dear Mr. Mahone, I don't care about how big a deal you are. I seriously couldn't care less about you joke of a singing career or how many twelve year old fans you have. If I am not attarcted to you (or anyone for that matter), I have every single right to leave you.

Skipping over the chorus, we get here:
"Rock' n' roll one time, we'll make it up as we go

I know you feel it cus I mean what I said said said said
We can do whatever, do whatever we want
When she walk past me I say hey hey hey hey..."

  The part that really got me angry was when he claims that he knows she feels it because he means what he says. Haven't we heard that line before? Oh wait I know where it's from! Robin Thicke's lovely song about date rape! 

"I know you want it...". Yet another important point here: JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE "FEELING IT" DOES NOT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES MEAN THAT SHE DOES TOO. Unless this poor girl gave you a verbal indication such as I don't know maybe 

"I like you." or "Wow I'm feeling it." you have no reason and I mean NONE to assume she likes what you are doing to her. My favorite part is that going back to the pre chorus SHE WALKED AWAY. I don't think there is any better way to show you really aren't into someone other than leaving them without a word. I mean I knew Austin was stupid but is he really that dumb he can't take a hint? 

"So tell me where you're from, where you wanna go
She walked pass me like I ain't say a word
Stood there like man
Girl I don't usually feel some type of way
But this one hit me hard in some kind of place
Like man.."

  This girl just walked away from him why does he continue to talk to her? The worst thing mentioned here is line four and five. I understand that you were attracted to someone on the street. We get it. But just because you feel a type of way NEVER means that she has to like you back and telling her it "hit you hard in some kind of place" antagonizes her and really pressures her into having to like you back. If someone is not interested, LEAVE THEM ALONE. It really isn't that hard. 

   Skipping over that icky chorus, our good friend, Pit Bull, returns with yet another beautiful rap.

"Mmm Mmm yeah yeah
She looks so good but she bad bad
You can see that back from the front front
booty like kriss kross, jump jump
Meet me in the middle of the ocean, we can find ourselves and lose minds.. rewind
Wawawawa play
Find ourselves and lose our minds today
Austin M, Armando, acabando latinos y gringos gozando me entiendes
For those that thought that we would stop
definitely don't have a mind to think with, brainless
Most of them broke but they're famous
Some got hitched but they're nameless
But mammita, forget about that
When I see you
All that I could say was"

   I think there is too much stupidity to not go line by line with this one. So first line is yet another repeat of that ever so meaningful refrain and as we get into the second line, we learn that wow this girl is very attractive but is bad somehow. The next two lines consist of this wonderful description of this woman's butt and I don't think I need to go into how disrespectful that is. Things get extraordinarily terrible as Pit Bull claims that for those with actual sense who say that cat calling is unacceptable, are apparently brainless which I think is just plain hilarious coming from Pit Bull of all people. 

    There are so many things wrong with this whole thing. Not only was yet another misogynistic song that objectifies women added to the top 40 countdown but Austin's fan base is basically made up of all young teenagers my age (and younger) and this is brainwashing them into accepting cat calling as something that they should take as a compliment. It teaches girls that they have no power in a situation where they aren't attracted to a guy and antagonizes those who actually get their feelings across. No matter how many flimsy and stupid points onto why she should like him, it will ever make it OK to cat call. On the topic of Top 40, we should really be listening to lyrics of songs that are this popular instead of letting the catchy beat trick us. Would you really want to dance to something like this now knowing what it's actually about? And why are we idolizing people like this? There are artists out there such as Bribry O'Reilly and Kate Nash who not only have 500000x more talent than Sir Mahone, but actually add positive and empowering themes to their songs that actually make yourself not feel like shit. Why do so many people feel as though misogynistic, douche bag, guys like Austin and our friends from "What Guys Look For In Girls", Cameron Dallas and Nash Grier (who by the way are in the lyric video), are good role models? 
   All in all, to sum up what I'm saying, the song is trash, Austin Mahone is complete trash, and we need better songs on the radio.

Slut.

Wow as if you didn't need yet another feminist rant from Ann here is yet another on a topic that not only I but other people on How Fitting but many many other blogs have discussed: The word slut. Before I begin on this word I figured a clear definition would be helpful:

A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.

b. A woman prostitute.

2. A slovenly woman; a slattern.

As I mentioned, this post is from the point of view of a feminist (me) and people have argued with me that this word is not a misogynistic word and that it does not make you less of a feminist if you use it for feminists come in all different types with beliefs that vary for each person. My rebuttal is that yes, not every feminist has the same beliefs and views but this word is not only in my opinion, "anti-feminist" but bullying. Why don't you call me worthless or stupid or ugly while you're at it? Telling someone that they are a slut or whore is not just misogynistic but an abuse word that no one should have to ever go through being called. Being a teenage girl in middle school, of course I have dealt with other girls talking behind my back to their friends, labeling me as bitch, slut, whore, you name it. If I ever did use these words before, I would never ever want to use them again after experiencing that name being thrown at me. Trust me, it hurts to be called a slut and really hit me hard. The word stuck with me and that day was not the last of the times I have caught people talking about how big a slut I am. I am not telling you this story for everyone reading this post to feel bad for me. I am sharing this experience to those who have ever called someone such a name. These words hurt. They hurt worse than anything else I have ever been called because after about the third time I was labeled as a slut, I began to really question myself. Was I really? 

Look, I realize that it is tempting and rather hard to not thinkof the girl wearing the short shorts or revealing tank top as a skank who just wants to show all the guys but am I only one who finds that terrible? Recently, one of the girls at my school wrote a long thing on social network to the "school sluts" on how everyone hated them and they need to cover themselves up. This really hurt me because I really felt as though she was directing this towards me and think about it: how shitty must it be to be told that the entire school body hates me? And why should I have to stand the abuse from one of my peers on what to wear? I don't mean to get angry, but why would it ever be OK to judge someone on what they wear? If I want to walk around in my booty shorts and tight fitting tank top because I finally like my body and want to show it off, that does not give you the right to ever tell me what and what not to wear or else everyone will hate me. 

One of my favorite movies of all time, Easy A, really talks about these problems. Though it is a comedy about a girl who pretends to have done various things with the guys at her school, the entire movie is based around the whole perspective of a "slut". Olive is called many names and bullied by her peers they even at one point, have a rally to have her expelled for being such a "whore". Her life falls apart just because she did some fake (though no one knows that it is) things with a couple guys. 

What about "Mean Girls"? Tina Fay's point is very valid. If girls continue to call one another sluts, it is going to make it OK for everyone else to call us that.

-Ann
*All photos taken from tumblr

Sunday Diary: What Guys Look For In Girls

I realize how late this is but I wanted to take the time to really get all my thoughts together on the subject. About a week or so ago, Youtuber and Vine-er, Nash Grier, uploaded a video with his friends, JC and Cameron called "What Guys Look For In Girls"in which the three boys listed the things they look for in a girlfriend. They all said and agreed on many things that a potential girlfriend MUST have which I list below and put my own thoughts towards.

-You HAVE to be entertaining. "Entertain me"

This may seem rather shocking, but girls aren't here to entertain you. I agree that a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend should be fun and entertaining but saying that this said girlfriend must entertain you is flat out offensive. 

Stay on top of me! (notify me when I should make a vine or film a video!)

What you are describing here is an assistant. Not a girlfriend. Yes I do realize that all three of you are moderately successful at such a young age and need a bit of a push to create the content you do. Your girlfriend is not your mom or assistant. Though you are dating, it is not your partner's job to "stay on top of" you.

MUST be outgoing. (later on in the video) you CANNOT be loud and annoying.

It is OK to prefer outgoing girls above shy and quiet girls but that contradiction you made about five minutes later gets complicated. What you are stating is that This said girl must be loud and fun and outgoing but she is at the same time, not aloud to be too loud and annoying. What you are looking for is not a girl. You are describing a robot that is absolutely perfect. A very very small percent of the world's population of girls is going to have this perfect balance and what you have to realize is that just like looks, a person's personality is not always going to be perfect.

Must Be Spontaneous (woohoo noise) I hate it when girls are all like ("girl voice") "Lets just sit on the couch and like talk".

First, that impression was not only rude but misogynistic. The three boys describe all the adventures they want to have with their girlfriends on a day to day basis and how they hate girls who aren't spontaneous. A little adventure is fun but expecting a girl to want to just randomly hike to Hollywood or go camping is ridiculous.

I like girls who are talented. Girls these days, are just all like "I'm just gonna marry a rich guy". They do nothing. It is cool if you are captain of the cheer team or sing (moans). 

(JC) Yeah all girls are like "Just gonna get fake tits and show the guys."

This part gets me especially angry. It is great that you like girls who are talented. Who doesn't like a talented person? But there are only so many cheer team captains and singers. Also, since when were a girl's only ambition to marry someone rich and get fake breasts? 

If you play hard to get, it is really hard. If you play easy then I'm all like "well she is a whore."

You're entire audience is made up of girls so how could you use such a misogynistic word? So what if I like a boy and don't want to "play hard to get"? Would that classify me as a whore? If you have the power to make such a large amount of people feel something, why would you put them down so much? I am called a whore enough and being labeled one by a boy who doesn't even know I exist hurts. Using that word is not only disgusting but abuse. Most of the girls watching your videos look up to you. Think about being called such a name by your role model. 

-really bright smile!

-Freckles (Yo!!! pats knees)

-Dimples (moans)

-petite short girls

-Brunette

-Long wavy hair

-Natural look

I put these as a group because they all have something in common: no one can control wether or not they have freckles or dimples or their height. Yes you can dye your hair brown and grow it out but then that takes out the natural look. Unless a girl is born with all of these things somehow, that cancels out tons of girls on the planet. 

-Dress well
-No black lipstick
-No lipstick at all (hard for making out)
-Change up your hair
-Get dressed up and dressed down
-No peach fuzz! (bad for making out)
-MUST SHAVE ARMS, LEGS, AND WAX LIPS
-Change up your hair
-Has reading glasses (all laugh)
-"Natural look"
These are all grouped together for they all have one thing in common-they have to do with appearance. Starting out with the "dress well" comment, how does the way I dress effect what kind of person I am? Yes, I do agree that clothing is a self expression and that some people dress kind of like the person I am but I still do not understand how a girl who dresses well will ever make the quality of your relationship higher. Moving on, not only is this potential girlfriend allowed to wear black lipstick, they can't wear any lipstick at all for it is hard to make out with also, this girl must wax her lips for the same reasons. Being only fourteen, I have only dated like two boys (and not even had a "serious relationship") but I can say that when I did date those guys, making out was not on the top of the list for everything we did. The relationship you seem to be describing seems more just like a pair of lips for you to hook up with. On top of it all, this girl must shave her arms, legs, and armpits because it is apparently disgusting if she doesn't. This is my body. Not yours. I find that shaving my legs takes up so much time that I could be spending doing something productive and shaving my arms is such a pointless task. It is fine if a girl wants to shave her body for her own reasons but never would I remove my hair for a douche of a guy. And what happened to that "natural look" you mentioned? My body naturally grows hair so in what way is natural to strip it of that? On top of it all, not only is it offensive to tell a human being that their peach fuzz and arm hair is gross, but it is abusive and a terrible thing to say to anyone no matter how disgusting you think their body hair is.
-Plays video games (can't be as good as Cameron though he doesn't play them)
This is explains itself I think.
-Classy during the day but can get "freaky" at night
-Has to be classy with friends and not one of the guys. She cannot be loud around them or be friends with their friends.
What does this even mean? This said girl isn't allowed to make friends with their friends and must be quiet, classy, and ladylike. You are describing a pet not your girlfriend. 
-Can cook
-Snowboards (hot!)
-Plays sports (hottest girl sport is volleyball)
The thing that bothered me about this was how they didn't want a girl who cooks or snowboards or plays volleyball because those things are interesting. They want a girl who participates in those activities because they consider it hot.

-Be yourself
Here is just a question: how the fuck am I supposed to ever be myself if I am supposed to live up to all this criteria you put out for me? I like lipstick, my short straight hair, my arm and leg hair, and makeup. I don't have freckles or dimples and I am extremely tall. I suck at cooking and would probably die if I attempted snowboarding and I don't give a fuck if you think playing volleyball is hot. I hate sports. So tell me, how am I ever able to actually be myself if I will never fit the insane criteria you made for me and 300,000 other girls?

After the video was put up, I was amazed to see so many people react in so many different forms and ways. Here are some of the things that really touched me:

A slam poem made by Savannah Brown. This literally made me cry and touched me so much.

Peej Liguori showing how ridiculous these types of videos are. Complete with birthday cake.

Megan Tonjes responding to the topic.

A comment Hank Green, of Vlogbrothers, wrote on the video.

Hank is right. Nash's audience is made up of impressionable young teenage girls and putting out a message like this is terrible. The world and media is already filled with insane standards of beauty and having three fifteen year old (attractive to most) boys preaching to 300,000 girls who looked up to them is horrible. Since then, Nash did take the video down due to many angry tumblr users but as the internet works, it is impossible to delete something for good. Many people have re-uploaded it and if you want to watch it, I put it down below. All in all, I am disgusted that a boy about my age would ever create something so misogynistic. 

-Ann