Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Going To Hell

  For the past year or so, I have had an ongoing crush on Taylor Momsen and have really fallen in love with her band, The Pretty Reckless. I have lost count of the amount of times I've listened to Light Me Up and couldn't wait for their next album, Going To Hell to come out. Though I would love to call the fourteen track compilation gorgeous and perfect, I was a little disappointed. I guess the reason why I am a little upset with how the album came out was how well done Light Me Up I mean after four years don't you expect more?
   To start off, I couldn't stand how hard they were trying to be "hardcore" and "bad ass". How bad can you be when your lead singer has starred in "Gossip Girl"? The band strived to sound like something they really weren't with songs such as "Why'd You Bring A Shotgun To The Party" and "Fucked Up World" which not only didn't go with the band very well but also were God awful songs. The lyrics were terribly written and most of them didn't even make sense. I realize how terrible it is that I keep going to their last album but Light Me Up worked so well for they kept the "bad ass" feel while still not trying way too hard.
   One thing I did like on the album was the two acoustics of "Going To Hell" and "Sweet Things" for the guitar and low production really fit Taylor's voice and did the lyrics some justice since those weren't that shit. I also really enjoyed "Burn" and "Blame Me" for those were a bit slower and really portrayed the songs on their previous album such as "You" and "Nothing Left To Lose" which are my two favorites.
    To wrap things up, The Pretty Reckless's latest album is slightly a disappointment and I'm hoping their third album will give them the time to be able to polish some things up.

Monday, March 24, 2014


Just a regular black tank top and leggings for I was just going to the gym. Fun.

Flower crown: DIY
Pink Floyd shirt: thrift
Shorts: hand me down

Tank top: Forever21
Collar necklace: consignment
Bee socks: Taget
Shoes: Doc Martens

Bring Me The Horizon cardigan: Hot Topic (Maggie gave it to me)
Bring Me The Horizon "House Of Wolves" Tank: Hot Topic
Skirt: H&M

Pierce The Veil tank: Hot Topic
Cropped top (under the PTV shirt): H&M

Socks: Target
JAGK Shirt: Thrift
(my hair looked super cute on this day just going to put out there)

Sunday, March 23, 2014

It Would Be Nice To Start Over Again

   I'm a whole new person. I decide as I look at myself in the mirror. My extensions are out and though short hair causes me a tremendous amount of anxiety, this whole new person I am doesn't get anxious that easily. I don't want to be the girl who has an anxiety attack over her hair again. I am starting to really adore this new girl I look at. She doesn't have a terrible past of clinginess and being a manipulative bitch. I don't know where this decision really came from. Maybe it was that I found out about how everyone at my school knows how awful I was years ago or possibly for it was time to start over again. I really can't tell you.
  My friends Samantha, John, Nate, Sophia, and I run in a field by a playground near our school. It's Friday and warm and just perfect. My new self is beginning to love moments like these. We leave the playground a bit later and go to Sophia's and make pad Thai and dumplings. I see a movie with Vivi that night and we fill the theatre with laughter as we realize we accidentally walked into "Divergent" instead of the Wes Anderson movie we have both been dying to see.
  I discuss sleeping anxiety with a girl who I couldn't stand three years ago yet now she is one of my closest school friends. I think I need to say sorry to her for being so horrible in fifth grade. I shouldn't have done a lot of things that year. I like her for she doesn't really seem to care and takes it as a joke. I laugh at how no one liked me that year. The funny thing was, no one hated me more than myself.
This new regeneration is some one who I am going to like. She will text her online friends more so relationships don't fall apart. She will focus on other things aside from herself. The old Ann got way too caught up in her own problems. I am going to be confident and happy with myself.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Consent (A Response To Recent Events)

I have been a fan of YouTube duo, Charlie McDonnell and Alex Day, for years and years. Since about fourth grade to be exact. Over these years, I have learned ukulele to be able to play the Chameleon Circuit albums and fell in love with everything these boys did. I've always loved Charlie but it was Alex who I gained an obsession for. I know all his songs and can sing them for you. I watched his videos for hours at a time. I supported him in the Neriarmy and constantly talked about him and promoted his music. I looked up to this man and even when he made an offensive video (cough cough Big Girls In Costumes) or did something stupid, I'd defend him because I loved him. But tonight when I read Charlie's latest blog post, I stopped defending the man I have been looking up to for four years. If you have not read this blog post, a quick summary would be that Charlie discussed sexual consent and how some YouTubers have been accused of sexually assaulting others. It wasn't until Charlie mentioned Alex Day that my heart sank. McDonnell explained how he'd been Alex's house mate for seven years and throughout the time they spent living together, he witnessed him cheat on many of his girlfriends. Majoruty of his fans are aware of how shy Charlie tends to be and he explained that he didn't want to confront Alex and tell him to stop for he was worried that the friendship they'd have would end. Instead, he only said that it upset him but that didn't stop Alex.
    This news is heartbreaking to me and the worst part is that it doesn't stop there. One of my favorite singers in the whole world, Tom Milsom, has also been accused of having a manipulative relationship with a minor. I know it sounds quite stupid but all of this seems like a punch in the face. I bought their albums. I supported them and loved them yet something like this happens and I can't trust this person I thought was inspirational and a hero.
      Shortly after news of these terrible relationships came out, one of my favorite YouTubers and 1/2 of ALL CAPS (a band I love) came out with her story of both Alex and Luke Conard (who was also in the band). She started off with Alex claiming she was one of the "lucky ones" and how he never pressured her into anything she didn't want to do. However, he constantly cheated on her with other women whenever he went back to England. Kristina went on saying that it really tore her apart but after recovering, she was able to forgive Alex and even started a friendship with him. The part that really frightened me was when she told the real story of her and Luke. Luke was seven years older than her and lived in LA. When they first started dating, Luke wasn't even a YouTuber and Kristina liked that about him (she'd had just broken up with Alex and wanted to go "off the grid") he'd offered to help produce the latest album of Kristina's band at the time, The Parcel Tongues. Harry Potter rock was starting to die down though so Luke proposed the two of them start a techno nerd band. Kristina started off by saying she got none of the money from ALL CAP's first album, Songs In The Key Of Email, for Luke took it claiming that since Kristina already had a band, he should get all the profit from this one. Skipping over a lot of other horrible stories Kristina tells in the blog post, Luke and her broke up yet he still forced her to pretend as though they were dating so they'd gain popularity. At one point, Kristina said "our “relationship” only consisted of three things - performing, sleeping together, and fighting - i persisted." Luckily, Luke and Kristina never got back together and eventually, she was able to recover from the emotional damage this excuse of a man brought her through. She ended the post saying,
"No matter who you are or what the outstanding circumstances are, you deserve to be with someone who loves you and respects you.” I could seriously write a novel of appreciation towards Kristina Horner and how awesome she is but I would recommend 100% you read her blog post here for you will definitely see how wonderful and inspirational she is.
I don't really know what to do now. I invested so much of my time in these people and now that I know who they truly are, I can't look at them with the same admiration and just pure love I used to. I plan on still listening to Tom and Alex's music for I do really love it and think they're talented. I have unsubscribed to both their channels and will no longer be supporting them by promoting their music here. As for ALL CAPS, I do still love the music but I can't stand to listen to it now that I know what was really going on. As Kristina said, i wasn’t losing my boyfriend to world of warcraft, i was losing my sanity to a manipulative, abusive, selfish guy.” It hurts a lot for I have been a huge supporter of this band for two years now and all of a sudden I find out the truth of what seemed like a perfectly happy couple. I no doubt will continue watching Kristina's videos but I am done with Luke (I never even really watched his channel).
In addition, since these scandals have come to attention, both Alex and Tom's merch has been removed from DFTBA Records. Hank Green wrote a post about that here. There is also a long list of other blog posts discussing this topic here. Also, Charlie has said that he is no longer friends with Alex and though it breaks my heart, it was the right thing to do and I couldn't be more proud of Charlie. Charlie has also made a video talking about consent in relationships that I seriously suggest you watch for it is no doubt his best video.
There are so many other victims and a story that freaked me out to the point of an anxiety attack involving Carrie (One of my biggest role models ever). I just want to wrap this post saying that you should always be comfortable with the relationship you are in and no matter how guilty you feel or the amount of pressure you are receiving from your partner, always do whats best for you. If you don't want it, NO ONE should ever tell you that you do or force you into something like that. Also, don't be afraid to share your story. If you or someone you know has been abused, don't hesitate to tell someone because the more you keep quiet about it, more and more people are at risk at getting hurt. 

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

My Skin Care Routine

In the morning, I use "Morning Burst: Skin Brightening Facial Cleanser" and "Morning Burst: Detoxifying Facial Cleanser" both by Clean and Clear. I have been using the face brightening cleanser for years now and it is seriously amazing. It has caffeine in it to wake you up and really made my face look way more bright. This really helps me especially over the school year when I have a lack of sleep. I recently added the detoxifying facial wash to my routine because I tend to touch my face quite a lot and the facial cleanser really helps to clean my face of the stuff on my hands. Both products have these awesome things called "Bursting Beads" that are apparently supposed to make the wash better though I just really love them for they look cool. Both facial cleansers are simple to apply. You basically take a pump, spread it over your face and neck area, and then wash off with water (I prefer for it to be cold to wake me up in the morning).

After brushing my teeth, I wash my face with "Essentials: Foaming Facial Cleanser" and "Essentials: Deep Cleaning Astringent" which are also by Clean and Clear. These are step one and two of the cleaner for oily skin (I didn't like the third step very much). To apply the foaming facial wash, I pump a bit out and run it over water until it gets foamy. I then put it on my face and neck and wash off. I apply the astringent with a cotton ball and rub it over the areas of my skin that are especially oily. Once I have gotten used to it more, I'm supposed to start washing my face with it twice a day. Both of these cleansers are super effective and though I've only been using them for a couple weeks, you can really see the effects.
After washing my face both morning and night, I put Face Values Gentle Skin Cleanser and Purify Toner by Atzen on my face. The gentle skin cleanser is great because it makes my face look much clearer and soft. Applying it is like any other facial wash (rub it in then wash off). I also really like the Atzen toner for it takes about two seconds to put on and really helps. I usually only spray three squirts on my hand then rub it in all around my face and neck but when I'm really breaking out, I'll apply more.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Dealing With Application Anxiety

Hi guys! I'm sorry this isn't a music post but applications have been a pretty relevant thing for me within the past couple weeks and I thought that I'd share some ways to get over the anxiety of filling an (mainly zine) application out.
Whenever I'm filling out an application for an online magazine, the questions are usually pretty generic.
"Why do you want to write here?"
"Tell us about yourself"
things along those lines. Though these aren't complicated questions, they still end up making me rather nervous. How much do I tell them about myself? What should I say? What will make me seem interesting? I end up psyching myself out over the stupidest little things to the point where a five minute question takes a half an hour to answer. I always want to make everything perfect and that is usually what ruins it. Stop obsessing over your answer. Should you think carefully about what you write? Of course! But that doesn't mean you should be freaking out over the same question!
Another tip getting over the anxiety sending an application gives you is to have someone else read it. I have at least two of my friends (my two blogger friends: Cherry and Marina) edit what I wrote before sending it in. After they go over it, I will look it over once more and finally, click send.
     Don't feel scared when you don't hear back for a couple days. Most zines have a very small staff and take a little while to go over every application sent in. Just wait it out. I am yet to have a zine never reply (they will at least write me a note saying I'm not what they are looking for).
Remember to just be patient and confident in yourself!

Monday, March 17, 2014


Tank top: Target
Skirt: H&M
Cardigan: designed by my aunt
Bird cage necklace: Pier One

Top: thrift
Sex Pistols leggings: Hot Topic
Skirt: may or may not have been the same one from Monday

D.A.R.E shirt: My dad's (I cut it into a V-neck and muscle tee)
Leggings: thrift

Flannel: My grandpa's
tank top: thrift
leggings: thrift
necklace: consignment

Hoodie: thrift
shorts: hand me down from Maggie
tank top: thrift
leggings: thrift


Sunday, March 16, 2014

Bulletproof Loneliness

Me and a couple friends hung out the other day. I could talk a lot about how Sam fell in the duck pond or taking "grunge" photos of Sophia but I'd rather focus on just how nice everything has been. I mean I have friends again. I have people who I legitimately enjoy being around and that has been something I've been deprived of for the past couple months. I've never really been a person to stick with the same friend group for more than a year for I am rather difficult to be around. I get anxious easier than ever and I tend to be rather jealous. I'm am usually unaware of how rude and just plain mean I can be and I have a huge issue with either being too loud or quiet. Within the past three years, I have had over four friend groups that I have either drove insane to the point of ditching me or I never really made the effort to get close with them. Since last year, it seems as though every single group of friends I have had is temporary for just had the feeling that no one could ever tolerate me.
It seems like a pattern almost in the past couple years. I tend to change drastically personality and interest wise and like one of my old "friends" claimed, people change but I become a whole new person to the point where she didn't even know me anymore. Maybe I do change too quickly. I have an issue in which I just hate the Ann I am at the moment so I change myself into what I want to be. It can be confusing. I don't even know how many times I have changed within the past couple months but I have finally gotten to the point of just being OK with who I am and I don't care
if this is only temporary. I don't care if the people I love and rely on right now leave me in a couple months for right now, I am happy.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014


For a good month or so, I have been waiting for one of my favorite singers, Bribry, to release his fifth EP. The Irish singer and You Tuber announced his new collection of songs with the release of "Care". A sweet song with an adorable music video of him dressing up for a wedding which was a perfect gateway into the theme of Us. What I love about Bribry is that every one of his EPs have a theme. Staying Together was pieced around the past, Misadventure was about traveling, Grow was the story of getting older and more mature. All of these themes connect to something going on his own life at the moment and Us was no exception. What I took from the four track collection was marriage. Each and every song covers points of not only getting married but being in such a serious relationship. To make this really come to life, Bribry features gorgeous vocals from his fiance, Candice. Not only is her voice mesmerizing, but putting the lovely lady he himself proposed to really brought the theme to life.
The EP featured four gorgeous songs but my favorite no doubt would be "Hopeless" for it really captures Bribry's own relationship with his soon to be wife. He has mentioned in previous videos that him and Candice are going to be together forever not in a classic romantic way but just because they are the only two people who can really stand each other and in the song, he mentions
"if we were a perfect match, it wouldn't feel like this." Also, how could you forget the stunning re-release of "Astronauts"? Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love the Staying Together version of the song but I appreciate this on a whole new level. The song is just as gorgeous but there is something so powerful hearing this song be so developed.
All in all, Us is A+++ and I would most definitely recommend it to anyone.

Monday, March 10, 2014


Sorry guys for that weird absence! Last week was really crazy for me (the beginning of the month tends to stress me out with so many posts to write). Anyways, I'm back now!
Hoodie: Maggie hand-me-down
Leggings: Stolen from my sister
Beanie: Target
(makeup wise I just put on eyeliner and concealer for I was only going into town with a couple friends)

Denim shirt: I took from my Grandpa's closet
Scarf: H&M
Bettie Paige Tee: Forever21 Men

Top: yet another one of Maggie's
Cami: Forever21
Leggings: thrift

Blink182 Tee: Hot Topic (I cut it into a muscle tee)
Leggings: thrift
Combat Boots: Macy's (I bought them two years ago and then drew on them with metallic sharpie last year)

Paramore Tee: Hot Topic
Leggings: Thrift
Earrings: Xcessory

Friday Night
Tank: Target
Leggings: same ones
Cardigan: my aunt designed
(I wore no makeup for all I did was go out to dinner with a couple of my closet friends)

Sweater: Stolen from Viv
Beanie: Target
Leggings: Annie Sez