Sunday, October 20, 2013

Sunday Diary: Who You Are Is Not What You've Been

The air is brisk as I walk past all the same familiar homes. The leaves crunch under my favorite black boots. You can smell Autumn in the air. I walk up the stone pathway of the elementary school I used to attend. I soon stop and sit myself down on the prickly grass. It is slowly dying just like all the other nature around me. I am just there in the front of the school cross legged as I check my phone. I am not even really sure what I am doing here. I just like the scene. I like the welcoming doors and rainbow sign that tells you when all the events are. It sure is much happier and cheery than the middle school. I pick myself up, about to leave, when I spot three familiar steps. The same stone steps I sat on every morning of fifth grade. I used to always want to be the first to sit on them so I could brag to my friends. Now, I find there to be comfort in being the last to get to school. The setting is beyond peaceful. There are no cars or shouts or even voices to break this moment. I close my eyes, thinking back to my times in fifth grade. I used to cringe at every single one but now I am at peace with these experiences. My actions are not erasable and therefor the only thing I can really do is just not care about them anymore. As Taylor Swift once said, who you are is not what you've been. This makes me think about how I should really come to peace with all those terrible memories. So what if I was a bitch a year ago? As long as I am not that person in the present, I am fine.


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