Sunday, January 5, 2014

Sunday Diary: What Guys Look For In Girls

I realize how late this is but I wanted to take the time to really get all my thoughts together on the subject. About a week or so ago, Youtuber and Vine-er, Nash Grier, uploaded a video with his friends, JC and Cameron called "What Guys Look For In Girls"in which the three boys listed the things they look for in a girlfriend. They all said and agreed on many things that a potential girlfriend MUST have which I list below and put my own thoughts towards.

-You HAVE to be entertaining. "Entertain me"
This may seem rather shocking, but girls aren't here to entertain you. I agree that a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend should be fun and entertaining but saying that this said girlfriend must entertain you is flat out offensive. 
Stay on top of me! (notify me when I should make a vine or film a video!)
What you are describing here is an assistant. Not a girlfriend. Yes I do realize that all three of you are moderately successful at such a young age and need a bit of a push to create the content you do. Your girlfriend is not your mom or assistant. Though you are dating, it is not your partner's job to "stay on top of" you.
MUST be outgoing. (later on in the video) you CANNOT be loud and annoying.
It is OK to prefer outgoing girls above shy and quiet girls but that contradiction you made about five minutes later gets complicated. What you are stating is that This said girl must be loud and fun and outgoing but she is at the same time, not aloud to be too loud and annoying. What you are looking for is not a girl. You are describing a robot that is absolutely perfect. A very very small percent of the world's population of girls is going to have this perfect balance and what you have to realize is that just like looks, a person's personality is not always going to be perfect.
Must Be Spontaneous (woohoo noise) I hate it when girls are all like ("girl voice") "Lets just sit on the couch and like talk".
First, that impression was not only rude but misogynistic. The three boys describe all the adventures they want to have with their girlfriends on a day to day basis and how they hate girls who aren't spontaneous. A little adventure is fun but expecting a girl to want to just randomly hike to Hollywood or go camping is ridiculous.
I like girls who are talented. Girls these days, are just all like "I'm just gonna marry a rich guy". They do nothing. It is cool if you are captain of the cheer team or sing (moans). 
(JC) Yeah all girls are like "Just gonna get fake tits and show the guys."
This part gets me especially angry. It is great that you like girls who are talented. Who doesn't like a talented person? But there are only so many cheer team captains and singers. Also, since when were a girl's only ambition to marry someone rich and get fake breasts? 
If you play hard to get, it is really hard. If you play easy then I'm all like "well she is a whore."
You're entire audience is made up of girls so how could you use such a misogynistic word? So what if I like a boy and don't want to "play hard to get"? Would that classify me as a whore? If you have the power to make such a large amount of people feel something, why would you put them down so much? I am called a whore enough and being labeled one by a boy who doesn't even know I exist hurts. Using that word is not only disgusting but abuse. Most of the girls watching your videos look up to you. Think about being called such a name by your role model. 
-really bright smile!
-Freckles (Yo!!! pats knees)
-Dimples (moans)
-petite short girls
-Long wavy hair
-Natural look
I put these as a group because they all have something in common: no one can control wether or not they have freckles or dimples or their height. Yes you can dye your hair brown and grow it out but then that takes out the natural look. Unless a girl is born with all of these things somehow, that cancels out tons of girls on the planet. 
-Dress well
-No black lipstick
-No lipstick at all (hard for making out)
-Change up your hair
-Get dressed up and dressed down
-No peach fuzz! (bad for making out)
-Change up your hair
-Has reading glasses (all laugh)
-"Natural look"
These are all grouped together for they all have one thing in common-they have to do with appearance. Starting out with the "dress well" comment, how does the way I dress effect what kind of person I am? Yes, I do agree that clothing is a self expression and that some people dress kind of like the person I am but I still do not understand how a girl who dresses well will ever make the quality of your relationship higher. Moving on, not only is this potential girlfriend allowed to wear black lipstick, they can't wear any lipstick at all for it is hard to make out with also, this girl must wax her lips for the same reasons. Being only fourteen, I have only dated like two boys (and not even had a "serious relationship") but I can say that when I did date those guys, making out was not on the top of the list for everything we did. The relationship you seem to be describing seems more just like a pair of lips for you to hook up with. On top of it all, this girl must shave her arms, legs, and armpits because it is apparently disgusting if she doesn't. This is my body. Not yours. I find that shaving my legs takes up so much time that I could be spending doing something productive and shaving my arms is such a pointless task. It is fine if a girl wants to shave her body for her own reasons but never would I remove my hair for a douche of a guy. And what happened to that "natural look" you mentioned? My body naturally grows hair so in what way is natural to strip it of that? On top of it all, not only is it offensive to tell a human being that their peach fuzz and arm hair is gross, but it is abusive and a terrible thing to say to anyone no matter how disgusting you think their body hair is.
-Plays video games (can't be as good as Cameron though he doesn't play them)
This is explains itself I think.
-Classy during the day but can get "freaky" at night
-Has to be classy with friends and not one of the guys. She cannot be loud around them or be friends with their friends.
What does this even mean? This said girl isn't allowed to make friends with their friends and must be quiet, classy, and ladylike. You are describing a pet not your girlfriend. 
-Can cook
-Snowboards (hot!)
-Plays sports (hottest girl sport is volleyball)
The thing that bothered me about this was how they didn't want a girl who cooks or snowboards or plays volleyball because those things are interesting. They want a girl who participates in those activities because they consider it hot.
-Be yourself
Here is just a question: how the fuck am I supposed to ever be myself if I am supposed to live up to all this criteria you put out for me? I like lipstick, my short straight hair, my arm and leg hair, and makeup. I don't have freckles or dimples and I am extremely tall. I suck at cooking and would probably die if I attempted snowboarding and I don't give a fuck if you think playing volleyball is hot. I hate sports. So tell me, how am I ever able to actually be myself if I will never fit the insane criteria you made for me and 300,000 other girls?

After the video was put up, I was amazed to see so many people react in so many different forms and ways. Here are some of the things that really touched me:

A slam poem made by Savannah Brown. This literally made me cry and touched me so much.

Peej Liguori showing how ridiculous these types of videos are. Complete with birthday cake.

Megan Tonjes responding to the topic.
A comment Hank Green, of Vlogbrothers, wrote on the video.

Hank is right. Nash's audience is made up of impressionable young teenage girls and putting out a message like this is terrible. The world and media is already filled with insane standards of beauty and having three fifteen year old (attractive to most) boys preaching to 300,000 girls who looked up to them is horrible. Since then, Nash did take the video down due to many angry tumblr users but as the internet works, it is impossible to delete something for good. Many people have re-uploaded it and if you want to watch it, I put it down below. All in all, I am disgusted that a boy about my age would ever create something so misogynistic. 


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