Sunday Diary: What Guys Look For In Girls

I realize how late this is but I wanted to take the time to really get all my thoughts together on the subject. About a week or so ago, Youtuber and Vine-er, Nash Grier, uploaded a video with his friends, JC and Cameron called "What Guys Look For In Girls"in which the three boys listed the things they look for in a girlfriend. They all said and agreed on many things that a potential girlfriend MUST have which I list below and put my own thoughts towards.

-You HAVE to be entertaining. "Entertain me"

This may seem rather shocking, but girls aren't here to entertain you. I agree that a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend should be fun and entertaining but saying that this said girlfriend must entertain you is flat out offensive. 

Stay on top of me! (notify me when I should make a vine or film a video!)

What you are describing here is an assistant. Not a girlfriend. Yes I do realize that all three of you are moderately successful at such a young age and need a bit of a push to create the content you do. Your girlfriend is not your mom or assistant. Though you are dating, it is not your partner's job to "stay on top of" you.

MUST be outgoing. (later on in the video) you CANNOT be loud and annoying.

It is OK to prefer outgoing girls above shy and quiet girls but that contradiction you made about five minutes later gets complicated. What you are stating is that This said girl must be loud and fun and outgoing but she is at the same time, not aloud to be too loud and annoying. What you are looking for is not a girl. You are describing a robot that is absolutely perfect. A very very small percent of the world's population of girls is going to have this perfect balance and what you have to realize is that just like looks, a person's personality is not always going to be perfect.

Must Be Spontaneous (woohoo noise) I hate it when girls are all like ("girl voice") "Lets just sit on the couch and like talk".

First, that impression was not only rude but misogynistic. The three boys describe all the adventures they want to have with their girlfriends on a day to day basis and how they hate girls who aren't spontaneous. A little adventure is fun but expecting a girl to want to just randomly hike to Hollywood or go camping is ridiculous.

I like girls who are talented. Girls these days, are just all like "I'm just gonna marry a rich guy". They do nothing. It is cool if you are captain of the cheer team or sing (moans). 

(JC) Yeah all girls are like "Just gonna get fake tits and show the guys."

This part gets me especially angry. It is great that you like girls who are talented. Who doesn't like a talented person? But there are only so many cheer team captains and singers. Also, since when were a girl's only ambition to marry someone rich and get fake breasts? 

If you play hard to get, it is really hard. If you play easy then I'm all like "well she is a whore."

You're entire audience is made up of girls so how could you use such a misogynistic word? So what if I like a boy and don't want to "play hard to get"? Would that classify me as a whore? If you have the power to make such a large amount of people feel something, why would you put them down so much? I am called a whore enough and being labeled one by a boy who doesn't even know I exist hurts. Using that word is not only disgusting but abuse. Most of the girls watching your videos look up to you. Think about being called such a name by your role model. 

-really bright smile!

-Freckles (Yo!!! pats knees)

-Dimples (moans)

-petite short girls

-Brunette

-Long wavy hair

-Natural look

I put these as a group because they all have something in common: no one can control wether or not they have freckles or dimples or their height. Yes you can dye your hair brown and grow it out but then that takes out the natural look. Unless a girl is born with all of these things somehow, that cancels out tons of girls on the planet. 

-Dress well
-No black lipstick
-No lipstick at all (hard for making out)
-Change up your hair
-Get dressed up and dressed down
-No peach fuzz! (bad for making out)
-MUST SHAVE ARMS, LEGS, AND WAX LIPS
-Change up your hair
-Has reading glasses (all laugh)
-"Natural look"
These are all grouped together for they all have one thing in common-they have to do with appearance. Starting out with the "dress well" comment, how does the way I dress effect what kind of person I am? Yes, I do agree that clothing is a self expression and that some people dress kind of like the person I am but I still do not understand how a girl who dresses well will ever make the quality of your relationship higher. Moving on, not only is this potential girlfriend allowed to wear black lipstick, they can't wear any lipstick at all for it is hard to make out with also, this girl must wax her lips for the same reasons. Being only fourteen, I have only dated like two boys (and not even had a "serious relationship") but I can say that when I did date those guys, making out was not on the top of the list for everything we did. The relationship you seem to be describing seems more just like a pair of lips for you to hook up with. On top of it all, this girl must shave her arms, legs, and armpits because it is apparently disgusting if she doesn't. This is my body. Not yours. I find that shaving my legs takes up so much time that I could be spending doing something productive and shaving my arms is such a pointless task. It is fine if a girl wants to shave her body for her own reasons but never would I remove my hair for a douche of a guy. And what happened to that "natural look" you mentioned? My body naturally grows hair so in what way is natural to strip it of that? On top of it all, not only is it offensive to tell a human being that their peach fuzz and arm hair is gross, but it is abusive and a terrible thing to say to anyone no matter how disgusting you think their body hair is.
-Plays video games (can't be as good as Cameron though he doesn't play them)
This is explains itself I think.
-Classy during the day but can get "freaky" at night
-Has to be classy with friends and not one of the guys. She cannot be loud around them or be friends with their friends.
What does this even mean? This said girl isn't allowed to make friends with their friends and must be quiet, classy, and ladylike. You are describing a pet not your girlfriend. 
-Can cook
-Snowboards (hot!)
-Plays sports (hottest girl sport is volleyball)
The thing that bothered me about this was how they didn't want a girl who cooks or snowboards or plays volleyball because those things are interesting. They want a girl who participates in those activities because they consider it hot.

-Be yourself
Here is just a question: how the fuck am I supposed to ever be myself if I am supposed to live up to all this criteria you put out for me? I like lipstick, my short straight hair, my arm and leg hair, and makeup. I don't have freckles or dimples and I am extremely tall. I suck at cooking and would probably die if I attempted snowboarding and I don't give a fuck if you think playing volleyball is hot. I hate sports. So tell me, how am I ever able to actually be myself if I will never fit the insane criteria you made for me and 300,000 other girls?

After the video was put up, I was amazed to see so many people react in so many different forms and ways. Here are some of the things that really touched me:

A slam poem made by Savannah Brown. This literally made me cry and touched me so much.

Peej Liguori showing how ridiculous these types of videos are. Complete with birthday cake.

Megan Tonjes responding to the topic.

A comment Hank Green, of Vlogbrothers, wrote on the video.

Hank is right. Nash's audience is made up of impressionable young teenage girls and putting out a message like this is terrible. The world and media is already filled with insane standards of beauty and having three fifteen year old (attractive to most) boys preaching to 300,000 girls who looked up to them is horrible. Since then, Nash did take the video down due to many angry tumblr users but as the internet works, it is impossible to delete something for good. Many people have re-uploaded it and if you want to watch it, I put it down below. All in all, I am disgusted that a boy about my age would ever create something so misogynistic. 

-Ann

She Must Have Been Extraordinarily Beautiful Because The Mask She Wore Was Hideous

Here are my thoughts lately. I apolagize how unorganized and random they can be. Lately, everything seems to be mixed up in my head.

I really don't feel satisfied with myself at the moment. Not in the way that I hate myself but in the sense that I can't stand what I am making. I love blogging don't get me wrong but I am upset and unsatisfied for I just don't exactly want to wait for the things I want to do. You could possibly compare me to the song "Vienna" in which Billy Joel musically describes a child who is just so excited to start life. I am no doubt in the mindset of just a young girl who doesn't want to wait for life to begin.

I want to paint and write and take photos and make photo sets and videos. I want to write poetry in a cemetery or something or suddenly become a good singer and be in a band that wears an insane amount of eyeliner and makes you think of death and gets you all sad and stuff. I want to write songs and monologues and short videos and watch as the performers make my own work come to life and get all the credit so I can just sit there and be happy. 

With the theme of things that I want to create and experience in my time here on planet Earth, I am going to go to the ending paragraph from one of my favorite novels of all time, "Its Kind Of A Funny Story" by Ned Vizzini "Okay, I know you're thinking, "What is this? Kid spends a few days in the hospital and all his problems are cured?" But I'm not. I know I'm not. I can tell this is just the beginning. I still need to face my homework, my school, my friends. My dad. But the difference between today and last Saturday is that for the first time in a while, I can look forward to the things I want to do in my life. Bike, eat, drink, talk. Ride the subway, read, read maps. Make maps, make art. Finish the Gates application. Tell my dad not to stress about it. Hug my mom. Kiss my little sister. Kiss my dad. Make out with Noelle. Make out with her more. Take her on a picnic. See a movie with her. See a movie with Aaron. Heck, see a movie with Nia. Have a party. Tell people my story. Volunteer at 3 North. Help people like Bobby. Like Muqtada. Like me. Draw more. Draw a person. Draw a naked person. Draw Noelle naked. Run, travel, swim, skip. Yeah, I know it's lame, but, whatever. Skip anyway. Breathe... Live." 

So after having made a list of things, I am realizing what I really want to do: I want to breathe. I want to live. At the end of the book, Craig, the main character comes to the same realization I just did. These actions were given to me to complete and I should take them for they are mine. As groan worthy as it sounds, you can set anything you put your mind to. 

My head is kind of just mixed up at the moment and I don't even know what I am like anymore to the point where I become almost like a mirror in which I reflect what others want to see. I dress and act differently around different people to the point where I have almost lost a personality and just been a chameleon towards others. 

This post could be renamed "Ann Gets Really Random and Writes Her Mixed Up Thoughts Down Alongside Pictures Of Girls"

Picture Sources: Me, weheartit, me, Tumblr, me, Tumblr, weheartit

Friday Extra: A Guide For Starter Bloggers

Well hello there! I kind of lied to you all in my last Friday Extra saying that I was not going to do a "Friday Extra" but here we are! I found a way to work around this by working extra hard last week and writing up ALL of the posts for this week last week (well in my terms it is May 9 at the moment that I'm writing this) OK OK lets not get complicated. For this post, I decided on talking about something that I had to deal with almost three months ago: Starting A Blog. I made this blog into a couple steps that I suggest you follow in order
Part One: Get The Outline
First impressions are always important! Even though not many people will be looking at your first post at the moment, you have to draw those readers in! Think of what your topic is about. Do you want to become a fashion blogger? Wanna write about pets? Or how about life advice? You can write about whatever you want but you have to decide before you even think about making your blog. If you want to blog about multiple topics you always have to start with one. Think of me as an example. I started off with only beauty and fashion but look where we are now! Start small and then expand!
Part Two: Set Up An Account
Where do you want to blog? I suggest you create a blogger account for it is simple and easy to create for beginner. You now have a HUGE decision to make. What are you going to call your blog? Make sure the name you choose is unique and memorable. I chose the name "How Fitting" for it has two meanings:
1. It can be interpreted as clothing fitting (fashion!)
2) How Fitting is a phrase I use 24/7 so it has a personal touch to it
I love my name and when I saw that howfitting.blogspot.com was taken, I was so upset! To get around this problem, I changed my URL to howfittingBLOG.blogspot.com. There are always to work around taken URLs!
Part Three: Make Your Blog GORGEOUS!
When you enter a website the first thing a person looks for is display. If your blog is boring than it clearly will not stand out to your viewers. When designing your page, make sure your design has something to do with the topic of your blog and looks like YOU designed it. This is your blog and it has to look like it. My blog background and coloring was all done by me and I made sure that it looked like it.
Part Four: Get Writing!
Your first post can be almost anything. You can jump right in and get writing about your topic like I did or say a hello to your potential viewers. Either way it perfect. Double check your writing and make sure there are no mistakes. You don't want to make a stupid typo on your first impression!
Part Five: Get Your Blog Spreading!
At first, I was afraid to show my blog to my Google+ followers but I quickly realized that the only way to get "How Fitting" spreading was to share it with my friends. My decision on posting the link to my March Fashion Bible was an amazing one! Not only did people read it but I got a lot of positive feedback on it! I love it when people at my school talk about how much they like the little blog that I thought up after seeing Tavi Gevinson's success. The compliments are amazing! If you do get criticism, don't give up! Check the post and see what's wrong with it. There probably will be a couple things that the public doesn't like and this is your chance to change them!

REVISE!

Part Six: Keep Going!
Now that you've gotten past the first post, keep writing! I suggest you create some sort of schedule so your viewers know when to check your blog. Make sure YOU love your writing and what your doing. Don't become obsessed with views. Starting a blog is the hardest part and obsessing over how many people read your blog is just a drain that you don't want to get sucked into.

"How Fitting" has given me an outlet to tell people about the things I love and I can't ask for anything better. Yes, I'd LOVE if more people read it but I try not to pay attention to that and just have fun with my writing. I hope this helped all those beginner bloggers out there!
-Ann

p.s I made a playlist for the music that I listen to when blogging! This isn't even half of it but I added some of the best:
Ann's Blogging Playlist
revision artwork taken from http://rookiemag.com/