Sunday, June 1, 2014

Most Of Us Are Heaving Through Corrupted Lungs

I don't like change. I don't like it when a show's main plot changes or a character dies. I don't like new schools or houses or rooms. I find security in stability and have a need to keep it that way or else my world temporarily crashes down on me. A whole lot change has been going on in the past couple weeks. A smaller piece was Parks and Recreation and how Mark left (I'm currently on season three) which had me upset for a good hour until I got over it but the change that has messed me up to the point of sleepless nights, anxiety filled days, and overall clingyness is even the thought of next year. As school comes to a close for the summer, the days I have left of middle school dwindle down. I don't know why I all of a sudden feel this way. I mean I hate middle school. I don't particularly like any teachers aside from about one or two and they're really isn't anything in the actual building I'm going to miss. It's the people. All the wonderful personalities and traits about my friends are beautiful and I don't want to let them go ever. I finally have found a friend group I am secure and happy in and I am aware that these relationships will fall apart within the next couple months. I don't want to lose Emma who's going to private school next year or John or Nate or Sophia or Sam or anyone. I want to be in my own bubble with these people where change cannot touch us and I've made it important to myself that I really cherish the people I am surrounded by in this moment for at one point, I will have to let them go.

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