Sunday, March 16, 2014

Bulletproof Loneliness

Me and a couple friends hung out the other day. I could talk a lot about how Sam fell in the duck pond or taking "grunge" photos of Sophia but I'd rather focus on just how nice everything has been. I mean I have friends again. I have people who I legitimately enjoy being around and that has been something I've been deprived of for the past couple months. I've never really been a person to stick with the same friend group for more than a year for I am rather difficult to be around. I get anxious easier than ever and I tend to be rather jealous. I'm am usually unaware of how rude and just plain mean I can be and I have a huge issue with either being too loud or quiet. Within the past three years, I have had over four friend groups that I have either drove insane to the point of ditching me or I never really made the effort to get close with them. Since last year, it seems as though every single group of friends I have had is temporary for just had the feeling that no one could ever tolerate me.
It seems like a pattern almost in the past couple years. I tend to change drastically personality and interest wise and like one of my old "friends" claimed, people change but I become a whole new person to the point where she didn't even know me anymore. Maybe I do change too quickly. I have an issue in which I just hate the Ann I am at the moment so I change myself into what I want to be. It can be confusing. I don't even know how many times I have changed within the past couple months but I have finally gotten to the point of just being OK with who I am and I don't care
if this is only temporary. I don't care if the people I love and rely on right now leave me in a couple months for right now, I am happy.

1 comment :

  1. Hello lovely, thank you for the sweet comment on my blog, I really appreciate it! :)

    Awesome post!