I have been pretty anxious on how to write up one of these for I feel as though the things I have to say regarding this week are pretty boring and unimportant and I just couldn't manage to scrap up something actually good to write about. The past couple days have been average and rather unproductive. They consist of watching "Hannibal" and my favorite movie ever, "Scott Pilgrim vs The World" (for like the 50th time) quite a lot and looking for things in my room to clean. I spend hours and hours alone and seem to be pushing away my friends and their requests to hang out. I like the solitude for when I'm around my group of friends, I tend to think bad, unrealistic, thoughts about how much they must hate me and how annoying I am.
But those thoughts and feelings aren't killing me and messing with my head like they used to. I love the close knit group of people I hang out with and from what they've told me, the feeling is mutual. On another note, I was looking through old photos on my laptop the other day and found a cluster of pretty great ones from the night Emma, John, Nate, and I all went to the playground on a Friday night when it was freezing cold and there was snow and everything was magical for some reason. And just to add onto the positive feelings, I have been looking forward to a couple events like me and my friend, Annabel, seeing each other for the first time in two years in only a couple weeks and the dinner dance and how me and John are going as friends and dying my hair new colors for the summer because those are the thoughts that reassure me that everything is OK and more importantly, I am fine.