As most of you may know, I am guilty dying my hair since about fifth grade along withe excessively straightening and using other heat products towards it. Though I'm not willing to give up my dye and straight hair, I have been taking pretty good hair of my tresses since they have become rather disgusting (trust me, you don't want to touch my hair) and I am aware they will never be perfectly healthy, I'm trying to grow it out and not go bald so that means I've collected quite a treasure trove of different hair care products that help me keep the dye and straightening while still preserving health in my locks.
♥Not Your Mother's "Beat The Heat Shield Spray" (Target, Ulta, basically anywhere that sells hair products) One of my favorite hair product brands in the whole world is Not Your Mother's for their products aren't only for girls with straight or mildly curly hair but are extremely versatile- my hair is three textures so I mean it when I say a product is awesome. I just started using this whenever I straighten my hair along with three other products (shown later in the post) and it has worked better than most of the other sprays I have tried out. Unlike any other heat protectant, this shield spray gives a better hold on the straightening and keeps it in for much longer than usual. It also helps that it smells super good.
♥It's A Ten "Miracle Leave In" (Target, salons, etc) Other than the shield spray, this is one of my all time favorite straightening (and heat in general) products. It's A Ten has an awesome texture that is more creamy than others and therefor provides a better and smoother straightening process. It also has keratin infused into it which is super good for your hair and is a much better alternative than spending hundreds of dollars on a keratin treatment.
♥Garnier "Sleek and Shine Flat Iron Perfecter" (Target, etc) Though I wasn't a huge fan of this spray at first, it does seem to do a pretty Ok job. When I use it, I'll first put my heat shield on first and then spray It's A Ten- this is probably because my hair is a stubborn bitch but I wouldn't recommend you using just this to straighten your hair. Though it isn't all that strong, this product does have a nice after shine that lasts about two days that is super nice and pretty.
♥Not Your Mothers "Clean Freak Refreshing Dry Shampoo" (Target, etc) Though I shower every day, I can't afford to wash my hair too so I usually end up only really cleaning my hair twice a week. Though I am super lucky my hair barely produces any oil, I still want it to be somewhat not so gross so this dry shampoo is a life saver. I've tried other products like this (such as Bastite which is a load of shit) and every other dry shampoo is all too flaky and sprays too much out whereas this doesn't leave any white spots nor does it flake and fall out whenever I touch my hair.
♥Bed Head "Control Freak" conditioner Bed Head is one of my all time favorite brands for hair products and this shampoo is a lifesaver. It basically eliminates frizz when I wash it out and makes the straightening process quicker, and easier. One downside to it is that this conditioner has the worst smell ever but once you get past that, it's really lovely.
Hello, this week's post is on a more negative note for I felt that I needed to discuss the recent events in which Alex Day has posted two new videos on his channel. I have written an insane amount of posts on the topic of sexual abuse within YouTubers and felt as though it was time to cut to the chase and make a video since it is not only quicker but (as incredibly powerful as writing is) I just felt you should see my face and recognize my tone on how NOT OK this is . I am sorry for how awful of a speaker I am and hope this will clear up that Alex's videos aren't apologies but ways to get his fan base back and though I am all for him becoming a better man and moving on, YouTube is no place for him to do so. ♥Holly's video ♥Master Blog on Alex's actions ♥The Geeky Blonde's video ♥My first ever Alex Day post ♥Charlie's post
Sunday *first day of FIT! ♥Betty Boop skirt: Vivi ♥Sweater: American Apparel (I realize how revolting they are- I bought it years ago!) ♥Peter Pan collar necklace: consignment
Thursday ♥Leather jacket: hand me down ♥Cami: Forever21 basics ♥Skirt: H&M (I had to put a million safety pins in the back because it's far too big!) ♥Bird Cage necklace: Pier One
Friday ♥Tank: Forever21 basics ♥Skirt: Target ♥Cardigan : thrift ♥bird cage necklace: pier one ♥Peter Pan collar necklace: consignment
Saturday ♥Sweater: Buffalo Exchange ♥Leggings: thrift (they are sweater-y and the best things ever)
Wow I guess I just totally forgot it was October or something like that but I never made a favorites list of September- welcome to How Fitting guys; in which Ann can't even remember what month it is. ♥Gossip Girl
I don't know if I've told you guys this but have the most embarrassing love for Gossip Girl. I don't even think it's the show that I have such a passion for- just the mystery of Gossip Girl and therefor I have watched five whole seasons (I have one more to go!) just to figure out who this person is. I believe this is getting a little unhealthy though- I began freaking out when all my friends looked up the identity of Gossip Girl and hung it over my head for the rest of the night.
A couple weeks ago, YouTube sensations, Dan and Phil, made a gaming channel that has become one of my favorite gaming places on the internet- I especially like their Sims videos since I am quite the fan of that series.
♥As It Is
OK I have been pretty obsessed with british band, As It Is, for months now but they recently got signed to one of my favorite record labels, Fearless Records, which is completely mental! Lead singer, Patty Walters, made a video here that I would completely recommend you watching. They are also the first UK band to even join the record label which is impressive enough in itself.
♥Leather
I was recently rummaging through my mom's closet when I found I full on treasure trove of leather jackets- they can make about any one of my outfits look badass and I feel an endless amount of power wearing leather.
♥Also this glorious video It just addresses everything that is messed up about Sam Pepper's "social experiment" in the best way possible
I'm sorry for how awful this post must have been but I did want to bring up the five things in here so I hope you have a happy October and maybe I won't forget what month it is next time.
Judging by the somewhat unprofessional title, you can tell I'm not the biggest fan of You Tube's trashiest boy band, The Janoskians, but wait! Unlike some annoying fan girl, I have actual reasoning behind why this group is awful and you guessed it! It's because of the craze of them being called "feminists" and helping with anti-fat shaming. So really this post could be called "Why The Janoskians Aren't Feminists and In Fact Haven't Helped Anything Within The Body Positivity Section" but I don't think it has the same ring to it.
As I said, I would hate The Janoskians regardless of wether or not they were known for promoting body positivity when they really didn't but that would be a rather awful and pointless post to write whereas when I keep it within this section I believe it stays more topical to How Fitting. In May of last year, the boy band released a music video for their latest single, "Real Girls Eat Cake", and that is where I believe it all began. Let's just talk about the lyrics for a second. The first verse basically objectifies woman calling them a "fucking dipshit" (because we all love that). The chorus goes onto saying some actually cool things such as "I don't need a girl to worry about her thigh gap" and "When you're with me you can be who you want" (we can just ignore how uncreative it was written and how bad the tune is). The second verse happens with more uncreative and stupid lyrics such as talking about how sexy their mom is and then the bridge comes on with just "real girls real girls real girls eat cake" (couldn't they have thought of anything better?) and it finally comes to a close.
I am all for body positivity in the media- especially within people as famous as The Janoskians doing something but this song did none of that. If you pay attention to the girls in the actual music video, none of them are large or curvy- oh wait! There was one big girl but she was used as a comical piece of being the gross one no one wanted to be around. Dear Janoskians, if real girls eat cake then why do all the girls in your music video look like they don't eat anything? Before I begin getting comments on how I need to "lighten up" or I'm taking this too seriously, I would like to flat out say that in no way am I tearing apart this "band" for my personal enjoyment. I really do believe young men with a large group of teenage girls watching their every move need to promote things like this in a fair and right way. Why was it that every "sexy" girl portrayed in this video was a size zero model? If I don't need to worry about my thigh gap why couldn't you have cast young women without one?
If you thought this video was bad, you haven't seen their recent gem, "That's What She Said". If the song isn't enough sad trash (again bad lyrics, no real meaning, just five guys being extraordinary stupid and untalented). I found the music video pretty fucking offensive. The video is set on a beach where the five guys are lifeguards and as expected, there is no shortage of hot, skinny, girls in bikinis but don't worry! There is one curvy girl being portrayed as this gross, fat, and crazy woman who is obsessed with one of the members so I mean they casted one larger person so it's all good right? Nope. How are these boys considered good role models when they are objectifying women and shaming them for their bodies? Why have they portrayed curvy girls as these funny and insane people while the skinny women get to be the love interests? The only thing they are doing is harm- this doesn't make me feel OK about my body.
The the quintet doesn't stop with their music videos. The boys have been known to call their audience (who have payed hundreds of dollars to see these pieces of shit) "sluts" and comment on their bodies like they are discussing pieces of meet saying things such as "The girl in the front has such nice tits" and "Some of you girls at the meet and greet had the best asses." because it's just awesome to be objectified! They are also know for some really cool pranks such as pretending to jerk off in public, screaming profanities in public places around young children, and telling underage girls that their boobs are hot so what's not to love about them?
To wrap this up, The Janoskians are really just assholes who have zero talent and I refuse to even consider them as part of the body positivity community.
I think these past days (and week- you'll see soon) have been in the theme of the recent YouTuber situation in which popular vloggers are sexually abusing others. On Friday, I posted an article talked about Sam Pepper and his "social experiment" but today, I feel the need to talk about something that hits closer. As most of you know from posts about him (here ) I loved Jason- aka Veeoneeye on YouTube. I mean he was funny and carefree and had cool friends and a good taste in music and therefor I invested a good two years in watching his videos and supporting some guy I barely knew. At Warped Tour, I even met him. I really can't say much about our time together- I was over the moon about seeing this guy in real life and therefor didn't really judge our experience the day I saw him. I was just so happy I could finally meet him that I didn't really care. The two of us took a picture and I touched his hair (that felt like a load of hairspray and disappointment since I always believed it would feel like candy floss) and then hung around for another ten minutes since there were only three other girls at his little tent. Jason was the first YouTuber (and only one so far) I've met so I really couldn't compare it to anything. He said it was nice to meet me and signed my black Vans (I'm actually really sad now that I have his signature on a pair of my favorite shoes).
There was one shady piece in which the girl standing with me (lets call her Maddy- we talked a lot while he was chatting with the two other people at the meet up) commented on how hot it was to which he replied,
"Maybe you should just take off your shirt." I realize it was just a little joke (let me just put out there Maddy was like fourteen years old) but things didn't end there. When he hugged her, his hands began traveling down her waist and towards her ass. Maddy pulled away in surprise and nervously giggled out something like,
"Whoa there." but you could tell how embarrassed and uncomfortable she was with how he almost touched her. Jason then laughed it off and went to the tent and didn't talk to us for the rest of the time we were there.
There are multiple allegations against Jason that are all equally as important and frightening as the next because you would never imagine a guy like him doing something this terrible. Starting with one of the first blogs that came to my attention, I'd like to discuss "Vianon". Her story focuses on a flirty relationship she had with Jason this year when she was merely thirteen. He would send her pictures of his hickeys, drop strange hints towards liking her, and even at one point hinted towards wanting nudes. Though you should never ever doubt the victim, this girl does have proof of their interaction through screenshots she took of every single message. There is also another frightening story of a girl who befriended Jason online (she was a huge fan) they ended up in a hotel with a bottle of Vodka. Jason pressured her to drink more than a sixteen year old should and they ended up sleeping together and he never talked to her again. Overall, you can definitely gather that Jason's behavior is creepy and inappropriate.
Jason getting underage girls drunk seems like a common occurrence within these stories as you can tell in Ania's video about her experience with him. The two of them met in London when she was fifteen and he was around twenty. They spent the night together and Jason decided to buy alcohol- through the night, he'd make comments such as "you need another drink" and Ania said clearly in the video that he seemed to have one goal: get her really drunk. It doesn't stop there though and instead of describing it in this post I just think you guys need to hear Ania tell her story here. I also screens shotted some of her tweets from her page that are really great.
I also love Jason's (old) friend group very much and they are all responding very well and have all confirmed they had no clue this was going on and disapprove of his behavior. Even his former housemate, Luke Cutforth, says he really wasn't aware of this and wish it had never happened. Everyone who he used to be close with (excluding Patty- he's probably just too overwhelmed to go online right now) have now said publicly that they are not letting his get away with it and have pulled away. I am especially proud of Emma Blackery for her supportive tweets towards the survivors of Jason's abuse.
Emma hadn't found out about what Jason was doing unit tonight and she was obviously overwhelmed but cleared up her opinions on Twitter.
She was accused of knowing about Jason's relationships and having pre-written all her other tweets for the occasion when it got out but she immediately defended herself against that ridiculous accusation.
Emma is obviously extremely scared and upset by this (as a normal person would be) and I have faith in her that once she gets herself composed, she will be the intelligent and strong person she is within addressing the situation.
Bribry speaking out about how corrupt YouTube is getting and also making sure everyone supports the victim instead of going towards people in Jason's former friends.
Jason uploaded a video on Saturday night addressing the allegations which though I hate to say that he did something right in a situation like this, I do believe what he did was more professional than other You Tubers who have just run away from all their problems and pretend as though they didn't happen (at least it wasn't a social experiment!). The video overall is just him talking about his dependency on alcohol at that time. In the end, there is no excuse for having sex with a fifteen year old girl at age twenty but I really can't say how I felt about the video. I guess you guys just need to watch it for yourselves here.
As I said in my Sam Pepper post, there is a lot we need to change about YouTube. We are treating these people as though we know them and put all our trust in them and that has been proven to be wrong. In Jason's case, we need to "amputate" him from here. That means no more Vidcon, Summer In The City, Playlist, Warped Tour etc. No more clicking his ads or watching videos- unsubscribe. We don't need abusers like Jason on here and since the viewers are what give him the power, we can take it away by not supporting him. I also believe these victims stories are super important and a warning to others and therefor we need to spread this. What is going on right now is very significant and therefor talking about it on YouTube, Twitter, Tumblr, blogs, etc is a great way to spread the message and hopefully stop things like this from happening.
I also wanted to add two videos; One on the topic of the YouTube community and sexual abuse by The Third Pew and one very personal one about Jason by one of his former best friends, Evan Edinger here (I am warning you it is slightly painful to watch)
You've been you, I've been concerned about the YouTube community.
Hello there! This post will be a little different from my normal diaries since there are just a few simple things I need to discuss all involving this very blog. Starting off, we have a new header! It seems super lame saying it but my dad was the one who made it since he's a cartographer- I am still unsure if it'll stick because my OCD tends to get in the way of these things and I'm not completely sure if I am 100% happy with it. Over the past year and (over) a half, How Fitting has changed looks based on what this blog discussed- not to say it has changed very much in what type it has been. I mean we've had the same schedule ever since I made a steady posting routine but I mean my style has changed. I went from generic kiss marks as a background when I was really unsure how to even work a blog and skipping over a bunch of designs I already forget we ended up with a more magazine layout when I decided HF would work better as a zine
You can kind of tell my style was pretty similar at this point and I kept with this background for a pretty long while until I got bored (as I do with about everything) and went onto the background I kept for the longest time which was actually a set of pins I had taken off of The Pulp Girls' website.
On a side note, I would like to point out my desktop picture is this photograph of Matthew Gray Gubler and it continues to be the picture I use to this day because I can't find one I like more.
Back to what this post was actually about, I then decided that since the whole running a zine thing wasn't exactly my style (in other words, I wasn't very good at playing Tavi Gevinson) and therefor went back into a more blog looking style where I was all about pastels and had more of a kawaii feel.
At this point, I would like to think of myself as more grown up within this blog- I have been practically documenting my life and thoughts through this little nook of the internet and going through old posts is strange if not a little scary. Though I know I have a long ways to go, I would like to think of myself as marginally more mature than thirteen year old Ann who created How Fitting in the first place. My goals have become a little more clear on what I want to achieve and though I always had an idea of feminism on here, I believe my opinions have bloomed into something more put together and valuable.
Onto another lame but somewhat significant announcement, I have written a novel! Yeah a huge hunk of paper of writing and everything! Though I won't be going into the long and boring details about it, it takes place in the 1950s at a traveling circus. The basic synopsis of the book is that struggling teenager, Dan, leaves his previous life of moving from town to town and living in an automobile due to his father's drinking problem and has the theme of what would really happen if you ran away to join the circus. Throughout the book, Dan really realizes how corrupt everything is within this show and ends up falling in love with one of the trapeze artists. I would have to admit it's slightly on the pretentious side but nonetheless, I have pride for it and thought that would be a cool thing to share with you guys.
So at this point you may be asking,
"why are you writing a post about something that was already resolved?" well first off, you probably won't be thinking that since I have this thing for putting words in other people's mouths but getting past that, something really important that was sparked by this excuse for a YouTube video's release.
I don't believe I have ever mentioned Dottie (otherwise known as thisbedottie on YouTube) but she is one of my favorite YouTubers and she recently released a video talking about an experience she had when she was only sixteen years old and Sam was twenty three. She had met him at a meet and greet and she described that by the end, she could easily tell he was into her so he invited a minor to a seemingly innocent date at the movies. Things began getting shady after she let him kiss her and then he began to place his hands on various (intimate) parts of her body. Since she had already outstepped her comfort zone, Dottie took his hands off of her- which let me remind you she had every right to do. She had only spoken to this man once and he was marginally older than her so she wasn't feeling comfortable with the situation and calmly took his hands off her own body. He then continued to place HER hands on his body which she pulled away. Obviously this was too much for her and she made the excuse to get away from him saying she should catch her bus but she could tell he was angry with this and since she was a fan, didn't want to upset him and stayed for the rest of the movie. Once they got out of the cinema, he literally ran away from her without saying goodbye and therefor she Facebook messaged him that night (she provides actual proof in the video) saying,
"You're horrible." but she told him the next morning she was sorry and he should have a nice day because she didn't want him to hate her.
Dottie was merely a sixteen year old girl and Sam Pepper was a grown man who manipulated her into doing something she clearly didn't want. In the video, she states he stopped being kind to her once she made it clear there was no sexual promise. This video mainly got positive feedback since it was extremely brave of her to post but there was of course one person who had to make a fuss; this being Kalel (otherwise known as "Kalel Kitten").
Let me start off by just talking a little about something I learned during the whole Alex Day/ Tom Milsom thing; YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BELIEVE THE VICTIM. I think anyone who has ever read through How Fitting could tell that I was a massive Tom and Alex fan and as heartbroken as I was that my heroes would do something like this, that didn't stop me from giving them what they deserved which was definitely not my respect. I, of course, didn't want to believe the accusations were real but I did since there is literally nothing you can do wrong by believing a victim- you are putting faith and defending a vulnerable person who has been through a lot. Kalel completely threw all of those morals aside and had no problem saying that Dottie was probably lying about the entire situation and said that she was overreacting and trying to ruin Sam's life. I could go on and on about how wrong what she did was but to sum it up, Kalel's behavior was repulsive.
The thing that really bothers me about this tweet is how she tells Dottie, someone who was taken advantage of, to just "Calm down and unsub" as though this is something extremely easy to get over. Dottie, as you could tell, was very hurt and scarred by the things Sam did to her- how dare she trivialize that?
OK Kalel, people make mistakes- it is a natural thing to do as a human being but this wasn't just Sam saying Dottie was stupid, he abused her. Sam Pepper is a grown man and when he touched Dottie, he knew what he was doing. It's not as though one second he was on an innocent date with a sixteen year old and then "Whoops! I guess my hands just accidentally began intimately touching you without consent!"
Not only did many Twitter users call Kalel out on her shit but popular YouTuber, Emma Blackery, stood up for her good friend and did an awesome job of spreading awareness to her thousands of followers.
As if the ridiculousness of Sam Pepper didn't stop there, he had to post a part two of girls pinching guy's butts and then a third video claiming it was all a social experiment and we all need to calm down. Can I just comment on how stupid that is? Sam Pepper obviously has an awesome management team but this could't save his ass. As I said in the beginning, Sam is known for this kind of shit and has never apologized for it but when people finally stand up to him, instead of saying sorry like a decent human being, he comes up with some weird excuse. As Bribry said in a video he made with Candice (that is super duper awesome and I will add to this post),
"Sam Pepper has made a video in which he sexually harasses women to tell us how much of a problem sexual harassment is. I would now like to say that I love animals, so I'm going to kick the shit out of some animals and put it in a video to show you how serious animal cruelty is. I like Harry Potter. I'm now going to find Daniel Radcliffe and slap him." This was such a good statement that shows how completely idiotic this "social experiment" is. I would like to pause and say how amazing both Bribry and Candice are and how great role models they have been for me.
Since the last edition of Sam's series was posted, a large amount of women have been coming out with their own experiences involving this lame excuse of a man talking about how they were sexually harassed by him- there is even a story of rape in there (the survivor of this has posted a fifteen minute video telling her story that I am putting in here- I will warn you that it is quite scary and can be thought of as triggering so if you believe you will be triggered by this kind of thing, I'd advise you not to watch it.)
The YouTube community and overall internet community needs to figure things out now. How can we let rapists and abusers such as Sam, Alex, and Tom run this place that is supposed to be safe and wonderful? Why are people accusing victims of lying instead of looking into this "hero" and his own behavior? I am sick and tired of hearing "You deserved it." or "You should be grateful." in the comments of these videos. I am tired of people like Sam Pepper being put on a pedestal. We as people on the internet and regular human beings need to take these abusers off websites such as YouTube, tumblr, and twitter because they are a danger to others and do not deserve to be here. To do this, we need to isolate Sam Pepper and other "harmless pranksters" like him. This means, do not click on his ads, watch his videos, or support him in any way possible. I am not saying I want to destroy Sam Pepper's life- I am just done with abusers like him on what is supposed to be safe place for people to create and show off their talents and as Bribry stated,
"YouTube is a wonderful place where people can be creative and show their talents and if your talent is sexually harassing women, you should be in jail."
I am going to leave you guys with some really great responses towards Sam Pepper and the entire issue of sexual harassment. They are all made by awesome people and I would recommend 100% you watching and reading these responses.
Jack Dodge's video on how we need to make this stop.
Megan Tonjes parody of "Rude" singing about Sam Pepper and his video- it's super well written and Megan Tonjes is overall an ultimate babe.
A really awesome video regarding the things wrong with the entire situation.
Nathan of TheThirdPew on YouTube being real cool- he's an awesome guy and is pretty known for discussing things like this (his most famous video is on the whole Nash Grier situation in December)
I just loved how passive aggressive this was.
Luke Cutforth making fun of the whole "social experiment" (he makes a couple Sam Pepper puns in the end of his latest video)
Dottie's lovely boyfriend, Patty Walters being great about Dottie's video.
*Since Blogger is being a jerk, I couldn't upload this video but Laci Green's open letter to Sam Pepper is super important and you need to watch it here
You've been you, I've been repulsed by Sam Pepper and select people of the YouTube community's behavior.
