Sunday, May 12, 2013

Top Ten: Worst Songs On The Radio

I don't mean to hurt any one's feelings here but I have to break it to you all: Some songs on the radio are TOTAL crap. This blog post is for comedy purposes only I don't to offend anyone but it was time to talk about these crappy songs.
Over the past few weeks, I feel as though our Top 40 has slowly gone downhill into a pit of the same words being repeated and God awful lyrics that my ten year old sister could make up at the top of her head. I decided on doing some recent Top 40 and some that were a big deal a couple months or weeks ago. So here we go. Ann's countdown of the worst songs on the radio best through worst:
10. Feel This Moment- Pitbull ft. Christina Aguilera
Whenever I hear the first beat of this song I instantly cringe. Not only are the lyrics of this song total mush, the entire 3 minutes and 50 seconds are just plain boring and what you could call a classic dance song. Haven't we heard these uncreative lyrics and this generic beat before? How long do you think it took to write this song?
9. Boyfriend- Justin Bieber
Yes. Yes I am guilty of singing this multiple times including one time when a guy asked me out and instead of saying yes like a normal person, I sang that for about three minutes. Way to ruin it Ann. You how when you're writing and you don't know what to say so you just put something random in? I think Justin did that whenever he had writers block by putting "swag" in every empty space. Other than that, this song is available  for you to embarrass yourself in front of a cute boy who actually finds you attractive!
8. Want U Back- Cher Lloyd
Dear Cher Lloyd, your song is so catchy that I was almost positive I had to die to get it out of my head. As catchy as "Want U Back" is, have any of you listened to the words? Don't even get me started on that cringe- worthy noise she makes EVERY FIVE SECONDS. Best party game ever: What noise is that? So far the best guess has been that Cher was giving birth while singing this. Just like Justin, putting a random word of noise DOES NOT make up for a blank space.
7. Pound The Alarm- Nicki Minaj
Do any of us ACTUALLY know what Nicki Minaj is ever saying? Even if it is ever possible to make out any English, do her lyrics ever make sense? I just have one single question Ms. Minaj: What kind of lyric is "hotter and hotter sexy and hotter"? What the hell does that even mean? Every other word of this song is "sexy". Music must have really made Nicki high when she was writing that single.
6. Ho Hey- The Lumineers
I don't think anyone can understand my deep hatred of this song. I don't think I understand my own deep hatred. There is just something about this song that drives me crazy and sets me in full rant mode about the quality of music and how this could NEVER count as country. Just writing about this one makes me wanna scream. This song is incredibly boring and barely has any beat or bridge to save this one. Just the line of "I've been sleeping in my bed." makes me cringe.
5. Die Young- Ke$ha 
Oh. My. God. This is one of those bad songs that just makes me almost want to laugh. I mean, what Ke$ha song have any of us ever heard ever made any sense? Unlike most people who find this song catchy, I find it more dull with a chours of five words repeated over and over again. Where is this song going?
4. Stupid Ho- Nicki Minaj
Of course Nicki Minaj got two songs on this top ten. After seeing Alex Day dissect this song, I have realized how much stupider this song is. I'm sorry Nicki but repeating the same thing over and over and jumbling random words together does not count as a song. At least SOME of the lyrics from "Pound The Alarm" made SOME sense while this sounded like she opened a dictionary at random words and put them together. My all time favorite lyric in the whole world from this song "How you gonna be the stunt double to the n***** (felt I shouldn't out that on my blog) monkey?" I mean what the hell does that even mean?
3. Gangnam Style- Psy
Thank God Gangnam style is FINALLY over. But why must some people hold onto this song? It's over! Find some other nauseating song to obsess over! Why was this ever popular? I mean do ANY of us know the words? OK OK I do have to say the music video was pretty funny at first. But why overuse it? Why make countless re-makes? The point where I probably hit my breaking point is when Glee covered it and the only aisian sang it. What was up with that?
2. I Love It- Icona Pop
This song. Oh. My. Freaking. God. Seriously this entire song is four lines then "I Don't Care I Love It" for the next three minutes. Singing the first "verse" again does not in fact count as a second verse sweetie. I mean what is this song about anyways? For all we know they could being singing about toast I don't care I love toast... I found this song so intoxicating that I spent a full seven minutes of my life in a YouTube video ranting about my deep hatred for this song. Again, my little sister could write a MUCH better song than two full grown women.

1. Come and Get It- Selena Gomez
This song wins first place on "Ann's Top Ten Worst Songs On The Radio" (insert slow clap here). Is this a new generation out of music? Singing the same thing over and over and calling that a song? This isn't music! The most I've truly gotten out of this song is dancing sexually with a bowl of ice cream with my best friend Vivi. How much time did these people put into the writing of this song? Seriously all the words are: When you're ready come and get it nananananananana" What the hell does that even mean? In the first twelve seconds when I first heard this "song" I had to turn it off for I knew that this wasn't going anywhere.

A Mild Mannered Monster
Just like Alex Day and Tom Milsom's song states, the Internet doesn't exactly seem rather welcome to opinion unless you say "OMG FEELS THEY ARE SO SEXY asghjdgAI" People who genuinely enjoy this music (I want to find one person) will probably be angry. As Alex and Tom say "You're not allowed an opinion unless it's the same opinion as me" Internet people like Alex Day receive a lot of crap for showing off their opinions. So I guess in the end I am A Mild Mannered Monster. 

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